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Replies to '01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs'

 
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January 20, 2008, 12:46 pm PST

01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

Quite the contrary because you would not survive long in this lifestyle with a low self esteem!  My self esteem is very high and I have never felt more secure within myself in my life! 
 
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January 24, 2008, 2:37 pm PST

Re. to Secrets in the Suburbs

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

AMEN!!
 
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January 25, 2008, 7:19 am PST

Prople who need to swing, ,don't have any self esteam

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

 
 
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January 25, 2008, 2:09 pm PST

01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.


Honestly you  must not know anything about the swinging lifestyle.  I think we actually have more self esteem as we are not afraid to do something we as a couple want to do!  The key word here is WE as a COUPLE.  WE chose to be in the lifestlye, and WE enjoy it.  
We do not hurt anyone with this choice!  We love eachother and our hearts belong to one another.  That will never change.  Because we enjoy sharing ourselves sexually with others, does not change that!  It means we are secure enough in our relationship to invite other's into our sexual activities!  Tell me this, what is the difference between you or your spouse going to a store, purchasing an adult toy and using it ?  Did that toy not make you have sexual gatification?  Would that make it wrong because it was not your spouse who gave it to you?  NO!  For us, it is the same thing!  We enjoy our sex life together very much.  We fullfill eachother's needs and desires, but we do like to add to it!  So, we chose to be in the lifestyle, and we have made some great friends along the way!  Not all friends that we meet we hop into bed with.  Honestly very few do we!  It is more about the friendship and fun, and if we have that extra "spice" that night all the better!  That by no means lowers my self esteem! 
 
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January 25, 2008, 2:49 pm PST

says who?!

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

 I have GREAT self esteem and I have never turned to any other activities that lower what I feel about myself.  I LOVE myself and LOVE my husband.  I like how you make a blanket statement of something you probably know nothing about.
 
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January 25, 2008, 3:35 pm PST

Why are you so bitter?

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

Many of the people we run into every day "swing" they just don't advertise what goes on behind THEIR closed doors. They are self-confident and self-aware, passing no judgement on others and they don't push their lifestyle on others. Swinging is just an added dimension of a person.

 

Since when does having dinner out with a group of friends, laughing at each others jokes, celebrating an anniversary - lower self-esteem?! That group having a great time next to you in the restaurant (without any sexual inuendos) could very well be swingers! (And no they're not all going home together afterwards.)

 

Drug abuse, prostitution, excessive drinking - these activities WILL lower self-esteem, and unfortunately can be found in the family next door, your minister's family, your coworker's daughter.

 

There is a problem if one spouse wants the "threesome" experience and pushes it on their spouse. You have to be on common ground in a relationship regarding sex, when you start requesting something that doesn't feel natural and true to your partner, then it becomes deviant. The husband and wife who's older children were being involved - completely out of line. Sounds like there are other issues in this marriage, he'd use the kids to side with him in a divorce as well. That's a character problem.

 

Lastly, Mr. Truelove is correct - you don't explain this to your kids, and if my kids know I'm having sex down the hall with my husband, I'm sure they're trying to forget that! I'm 48 years old, and my parents NEVER had sex! LOL

 

And no, my husband and I don't swing (as least not yet)...

 
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January 25, 2008, 3:57 pm PST

01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

 

   You really don't know what your talking about. Those people have just as much if not more self-esteem then YOU DO. Don't be so quick to judge. You sound really old. Are you.

 
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January 25, 2008, 5:51 pm PST

Original observation.......NOT

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

And how IS the weather in your world sweetie?  By the way-you got a P.H.D. to back your "insightful" observation?  Just because you took a semester of psychology does not mean you're ready to hang a shingle by your door.
 
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January 26, 2008, 7:29 am PST

comments on show on Swingers

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

regarding the swinging lifestyle;  just more evidence that the world has gone bonkers.  I agree that people who swing are immature, & have low self-esteem.  More than that I believe it is part of an ADDICTION that begins with porn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
 
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January 26, 2008, 10:21 am PST

Give me a break

Quote From: zimexlady

People who swing have ultra low self esteem and turn to activities that lower that esteem even more.

This is almost comical, but is actually sad. I am glad that there are so many folks out there that can tell me how to live my life and tell me what is right or wrong simply because that is their belief. Low self esteem? hardly!  Put the bible down and quit judging people by what you think is right or wrong. Who are you people to judge anyone. You do not know anytihng about anyone on here, yet, you are telling them that what they are doing is wrong and it is going to ruin marriages. Funny to me that every couple that I know that is in the lifestyle has been married or together for ten years or more, however our "vanilla" friends are getting divorved left and right.

 

And I have a little message for you women out here making comments on the board here that your husbands "would never and has never thought of being with another woman" You keep right on thinking that sweehearts, cause that is the funniest , most delusional damn thing I have ever heard.

 

Maybe some of you peopele should worry about your own hypocritical lives and leave everyone else alone. We do not care that you are not swingers, so why do you care that we are?

 


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