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Replies to '01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs'
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January 20, 2008, 7:55 am PST
 Quote From: jules1965 My husband and I have been swinging going on 5 years. My family is aware of it as are my grown adult children, even my MOTHER.
I think what shocked my mother (think old school'what would the neighbors think?) So I went to a popular swing site, typed in my zip code, put in a 50 mile radius and viola, up popped over 500 couples......there mom, that's what my neighbors think. She was aghast of course that so many people were swinging, not that my husband and I swing.
The thing about swinging is, there must be 110% agreement between the couple if they are wanting to try this. They must be 2000% committed to their MARRIAGE. They must set clear and unbreakable RULES for swinging, any violation of the rules and the swinging ends or the marriage will.
Protect yourself at all times, from pregnancy, disease, weirdos. Never go with strangers, always get to know the people first (phone, internet, safe place to meet for the 1st time)
Swinging has not harmed our marriage whatsoever. We've had 3 somes (MFM and FMF as well as couples MF/MF) If swinging has done anything to our marriage it has strengthened it, we have more trust for each other, our sex life..........well......just RULES!
We are open with each other, no secrets, no lying, the trust is amazing!! If both of us don't agree to a situation 110%.......we leave, simple as that.
Nobody can enter our marriage, they may enter our bed but not our marriage. We are a team and will remain until death do us part.
Swinging is absolutely NOT for everyone. No partner should feel threatened, forced, or guilted into doing anything they do not want to do!
The couple coming on the show where the wife doesnt want to do it but feels pressure from her husband and is scared he'll leave if she doesn't go along with him....... Face it, there are much deeper problems than just if his 'needs' or 'wants' aren't met or she doesnt do what HE wants to do.
Some people are not into swinging nor ever will be. It isn't right for everyone. (though the numbers are so high that fact has room for argument!)
One thing swinging has given us is a much deeper understanding of each other, has enhanced a very wonderful sex life too.
Mind you, this isn't an everyday thing or we spend time cruising, we're part timers......if we find a nice couple fine, if not, fine too. Its been a year since we swung but we move across country and have been busy....if the mood strikes we'll search for like minded adults and see where it goes......our lives are not consumed by swinging, only positively enhanced our marriage, IN and OUT of the bedroom.
I couldn't have said it better myself!!! That is a perfect explaination of what swinging is to me and my husband also! |
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January 25, 2008, 4:51 pm PST
Quote From: jules1965 My husband and I have been swinging going on 5 years. My family is aware of it as are my grown adult children, even my MOTHER.
I think what shocked my mother (think old school'what would the neighbors think?) So I went to a popular swing site, typed in my zip code, put in a 50 mile radius and viola, up popped over 500 couples......there mom, that's what my neighbors think. She was aghast of course that so many people were swinging, not that my husband and I swing.
The thing about swinging is, there must be 110% agreement between the couple if they are wanting to try this. They must be 2000% committed to their MARRIAGE. They must set clear and unbreakable RULES for swinging, any violation of the rules and the swinging ends or the marriage will.
Protect yourself at all times, from pregnancy, disease, weirdos. Never go with strangers, always get to know the people first (phone, internet, safe place to meet for the 1st time)
Swinging has not harmed our marriage whatsoever. We've had 3 somes (MFM and FMF as well as couples MF/MF) If swinging has done anything to our marriage it has strengthened it, we have more trust for each other, our sex life..........well......just RULES!
We are open with each other, no secrets, no lying, the trust is amazing!! If both of us don't agree to a situation 110%.......we leave, simple as that.
Nobody can enter our marriage, they may enter our bed but not our marriage. We are a team and will remain until death do us part.
Swinging is absolutely NOT for everyone. No partner should feel threatened, forced, or guilted into doing anything they do not want to do!
The couple coming on the show where the wife doesnt want to do it but feels pressure from her husband and is scared he'll leave if she doesn't go along with him....... Face it, there are much deeper problems than just if his 'needs' or 'wants' aren't met or she doesnt do what HE wants to do.
Some people are not into swinging nor ever will be. It isn't right for everyone. (though the numbers are so high that fact has room for argument!)
One thing swinging has given us is a much deeper understanding of each other, has enhanced a very wonderful sex life too.
Mind you, this isn't an everyday thing or we spend time cruising, we're part timers......if we find a nice couple fine, if not, fine too. Its been a year since we swung but we move across country and have been busy....if the mood strikes we'll search for like minded adults and see where it goes......our lives are not consumed by swinging, only positively enhanced our marriage, IN and OUT of the bedroom.
I don't know your age but will be willing to bet within 10 more years one of you will be out the door. |
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January 25, 2008, 5:03 pm PST
Quote From: jules1965 My husband and I have been swinging going on 5 years. My family is aware of it as are my grown adult children, even my MOTHER.
I think what shocked my mother (think old school'what would the neighbors think?) So I went to a popular swing site, typed in my zip code, put in a 50 mile radius and viola, up popped over 500 couples......there mom, that's what my neighbors think. She was aghast of course that so many people were swinging, not that my husband and I swing.
The thing about swinging is, there must be 110% agreement between the couple if they are wanting to try this. They must be 2000% committed to their MARRIAGE. They must set clear and unbreakable RULES for swinging, any violation of the rules and the swinging ends or the marriage will.
Protect yourself at all times, from pregnancy, disease, weirdos. Never go with strangers, always get to know the people first (phone, internet, safe place to meet for the 1st time)
Swinging has not harmed our marriage whatsoever. We've had 3 somes (MFM and FMF as well as couples MF/MF) If swinging has done anything to our marriage it has strengthened it, we have more trust for each other, our sex life..........well......just RULES!
We are open with each other, no secrets, no lying, the trust is amazing!! If both of us don't agree to a situation 110%.......we leave, simple as that.
Nobody can enter our marriage, they may enter our bed but not our marriage. We are a team and will remain until death do us part.
Swinging is absolutely NOT for everyone. No partner should feel threatened, forced, or guilted into doing anything they do not want to do!
The couple coming on the show where the wife doesnt want to do it but feels pressure from her husband and is scared he'll leave if she doesn't go along with him....... Face it, there are much deeper problems than just if his 'needs' or 'wants' aren't met or she doesnt do what HE wants to do.
Some people are not into swinging nor ever will be. It isn't right for everyone. (though the numbers are so high that fact has room for argument!)
One thing swinging has given us is a much deeper understanding of each other, has enhanced a very wonderful sex life too.
Mind you, this isn't an everyday thing or we spend time cruising, we're part timers......if we find a nice couple fine, if not, fine too. Its been a year since we swung but we move across country and have been busy....if the mood strikes we'll search for like minded adults and see where it goes......our lives are not consumed by swinging, only positively enhanced our marriage, IN and OUT of the bedroom.
I love how all the swingers say they completely "trust" their spouses. LOL!!! That isn't trust that is simply not caring.
Your spouse does not care that you want to screw someone else and you don't care that your spouse wants to screw someone else. You don't care a whole lot about each other.
Please...If you are a swinger and have been so for a long time and your spouse has turned very sick, handicapped, and needs your help to (get out of bed, wipe their hiny etc) speak up now.
I want to know how many swingers really grow old together. You guys aren't going to stick it out and be there in the golden years still swinging or even talking about your escapades while you swing the only way you can on a porch swing.
Where are all the swingers who are old? They are divorced, not with that person anymore. I don't think you guys who do this in your marriages love each other enough to be the person who is wiping the other's bottom when/if the time comes you have to do t hat. You don't care for each other that way.
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January 25, 2008, 5:08 pm PST
Quote From: jules1965 My husband and I have been swinging going on 5 years. My family is aware of it as are my grown adult children, even my MOTHER.
I think what shocked my mother (think old school'what would the neighbors think?) So I went to a popular swing site, typed in my zip code, put in a 50 mile radius and viola, up popped over 500 couples......there mom, that's what my neighbors think. She was aghast of course that so many people were swinging, not that my husband and I swing.
The thing about swinging is, there must be 110% agreement between the couple if they are wanting to try this. They must be 2000% committed to their MARRIAGE. They must set clear and unbreakable RULES for swinging, any violation of the rules and the swinging ends or the marriage will.
Protect yourself at all times, from pregnancy, disease, weirdos. Never go with strangers, always get to know the people first (phone, internet, safe place to meet for the 1st time)
Swinging has not harmed our marriage whatsoever. We've had 3 somes (MFM and FMF as well as couples MF/MF) If swinging has done anything to our marriage it has strengthened it, we have more trust for each other, our sex life..........well......just RULES!
We are open with each other, no secrets, no lying, the trust is amazing!! If both of us don't agree to a situation 110%.......we leave, simple as that.
Nobody can enter our marriage, they may enter our bed but not our marriage. We are a team and will remain until death do us part.
Swinging is absolutely NOT for everyone. No partner should feel threatened, forced, or guilted into doing anything they do not want to do!
The couple coming on the show where the wife doesnt want to do it but feels pressure from her husband and is scared he'll leave if she doesn't go along with him....... Face it, there are much deeper problems than just if his 'needs' or 'wants' aren't met or she doesnt do what HE wants to do.
Some people are not into swinging nor ever will be. It isn't right for everyone. (though the numbers are so high that fact has room for argument!)
One thing swinging has given us is a much deeper understanding of each other, has enhanced a very wonderful sex life too.
Mind you, this isn't an everyday thing or we spend time cruising, we're part timers......if we find a nice couple fine, if not, fine too. Its been a year since we swung but we move across country and have been busy....if the mood strikes we'll search for like minded adults and see where it goes......our lives are not consumed by swinging, only positively enhanced our marriage, IN and OUT of the bedroom.
GROSS AND DISGUSTING |
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January 26, 2008, 7:02 am PST
Quote From: jules1965 My husband and I have been swinging going on 5 years. My family is aware of it as are my grown adult children, even my MOTHER.
I think what shocked my mother (think old school'what would the neighbors think?) So I went to a popular swing site, typed in my zip code, put in a 50 mile radius and viola, up popped over 500 couples......there mom, that's what my neighbors think. She was aghast of course that so many people were swinging, not that my husband and I swing.
The thing about swinging is, there must be 110% agreement between the couple if they are wanting to try this. They must be 2000% committed to their MARRIAGE. They must set clear and unbreakable RULES for swinging, any violation of the rules and the swinging ends or the marriage will.
Protect yourself at all times, from pregnancy, disease, weirdos. Never go with strangers, always get to know the people first (phone, internet, safe place to meet for the 1st time)
Swinging has not harmed our marriage whatsoever. We've had 3 somes (MFM and FMF as well as couples MF/MF) If swinging has done anything to our marriage it has strengthened it, we have more trust for each other, our sex life..........well......just RULES!
We are open with each other, no secrets, no lying, the trust is amazing!! If both of us don't agree to a situation 110%.......we leave, simple as that.
Nobody can enter our marriage, they may enter our bed but not our marriage. We are a team and will remain until death do us part.
Swinging is absolutely NOT for everyone. No partner should feel threatened, forced, or guilted into doing anything they do not want to do!
The couple coming on the show where the wife doesnt want to do it but feels pressure from her husband and is scared he'll leave if she doesn't go along with him....... Face it, there are much deeper problems than just if his 'needs' or 'wants' aren't met or she doesnt do what HE wants to do.
Some people are not into swinging nor ever will be. It isn't right for everyone. (though the numbers are so high that fact has room for argument!)
One thing swinging has given us is a much deeper understanding of each other, has enhanced a very wonderful sex life too.
Mind you, this isn't an everyday thing or we spend time cruising, we're part timers......if we find a nice couple fine, if not, fine too. Its been a year since we swung but we move across country and have been busy....if the mood strikes we'll search for like minded adults and see where it goes......our lives are not consumed by swinging, only positively enhanced our marriage, IN and OUT of the bedroom.
You said, "We are open with each other, no secrets, no lying, the trust is amazing!!"
My husband and I are not swingers and we have complete trust, no secrets or lying either. We have always talk openly about sex from the very beginning. It doesn't take swinging to give you trust in your marriage. Trust should have been developed during the dating process. You should never marry someone with whom you do not have complete trust.
It's sad that you think this. Healthy relationships don't require extremes to prove that they are healthy. |
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January 27, 2008, 10:12 am PST
Quote From: jules1965 My husband and I have been swinging going on 5 years. My family is aware of it as are my grown adult children, even my MOTHER.
I think what shocked my mother (think old school'what would the neighbors think?) So I went to a popular swing site, typed in my zip code, put in a 50 mile radius and viola, up popped over 500 couples......there mom, that's what my neighbors think. She was aghast of course that so many people were swinging, not that my husband and I swing.
The thing about swinging is, there must be 110% agreement between the couple if they are wanting to try this. They must be 2000% committed to their MARRIAGE. They must set clear and unbreakable RULES for swinging, any violation of the rules and the swinging ends or the marriage will.
Protect yourself at all times, from pregnancy, disease, weirdos. Never go with strangers, always get to know the people first (phone, internet, safe place to meet for the 1st time)
Swinging has not harmed our marriage whatsoever. We've had 3 somes (MFM and FMF as well as couples MF/MF) If swinging has done anything to our marriage it has strengthened it, we have more trust for each other, our sex life..........well......just RULES!
We are open with each other, no secrets, no lying, the trust is amazing!! If both of us don't agree to a situation 110%.......we leave, simple as that.
Nobody can enter our marriage, they may enter our bed but not our marriage. We are a team and will remain until death do us part.
Swinging is absolutely NOT for everyone. No partner should feel threatened, forced, or guilted into doing anything they do not want to do!
The couple coming on the show where the wife doesnt want to do it but feels pressure from her husband and is scared he'll leave if she doesn't go along with him....... Face it, there are much deeper problems than just if his 'needs' or 'wants' aren't met or she doesnt do what HE wants to do.
Some people are not into swinging nor ever will be. It isn't right for everyone. (though the numbers are so high that fact has room for argument!)
One thing swinging has given us is a much deeper understanding of each other, has enhanced a very wonderful sex life too.
Mind you, this isn't an everyday thing or we spend time cruising, we're part timers......if we find a nice couple fine, if not, fine too. Its been a year since we swung but we move across country and have been busy....if the mood strikes we'll search for like minded adults and see where it goes......our lives are not consumed by swinging, only positively enhanced our marriage, IN and OUT of the bedroom.
After reading this board all I can say/feel...I guess I am grateful my 42 year husband and I are able to satisfy/please/ love/be loved/make love/ feel passion....after all thesae years....Just like me I am sure you won't be able to understand this..... |
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January 28, 2008, 8:28 pm PST
Quote From: jules1965 My husband and I have been swinging going on 5 years. My family is aware of it as are my grown adult children, even my MOTHER.
I think what shocked my mother (think old school'what would the neighbors think?) So I went to a popular swing site, typed in my zip code, put in a 50 mile radius and viola, up popped over 500 couples......there mom, that's what my neighbors think. She was aghast of course that so many people were swinging, not that my husband and I swing.
The thing about swinging is, there must be 110% agreement between the couple if they are wanting to try this. They must be 2000% committed to their MARRIAGE. They must set clear and unbreakable RULES for swinging, any violation of the rules and the swinging ends or the marriage will.
Protect yourself at all times, from pregnancy, disease, weirdos. Never go with strangers, always get to know the people first (phone, internet, safe place to meet for the 1st time)
Swinging has not harmed our marriage whatsoever. We've had 3 somes (MFM and FMF as well as couples MF/MF) If swinging has done anything to our marriage it has strengthened it, we have more trust for each other, our sex life..........well......just RULES!
We are open with each other, no secrets, no lying, the trust is amazing!! If both of us don't agree to a situation 110%.......we leave, simple as that.
Nobody can enter our marriage, they may enter our bed but not our marriage. We are a team and will remain until death do us part.
Swinging is absolutely NOT for everyone. No partner should feel threatened, forced, or guilted into doing anything they do not want to do!
The couple coming on the show where the wife doesnt want to do it but feels pressure from her husband and is scared he'll leave if she doesn't go along with him....... Face it, there are much deeper problems than just if his 'needs' or 'wants' aren't met or she doesnt do what HE wants to do.
Some people are not into swinging nor ever will be. It isn't right for everyone. (though the numbers are so high that fact has room for argument!)
One thing swinging has given us is a much deeper understanding of each other, has enhanced a very wonderful sex life too.
Mind you, this isn't an everyday thing or we spend time cruising, we're part timers......if we find a nice couple fine, if not, fine too. Its been a year since we swung but we move across country and have been busy....if the mood strikes we'll search for like minded adults and see where it goes......our lives are not consumed by swinging, only positively enhanced our marriage, IN and OUT of the bedroom.
I tried, but couldn't say it better myself. Unfortunately for me, my ex felt like he couldn't be honest with me. As many times as I tried to get him to be honest, he felt like he had to go outside of our marriage and be unfaithful. Needless to say, I left him. Not because he "cheated" on me, but because he couldn't be honest with himself and took it out on me. Now I am in a wonderful relationship with a man that is "like-minded". We are so totally in love with each other. Our "extra-curricular" activities are totally mutal with he, I and "others". And yes, we meet other people thru the internet and local "swingers" clubs. No, it does NOT consume our relationship. We have only practiced this "lifestyle" together 2 times in our relationship. But it does enhance our sex life each and every time because of the honesty and the reflection of those and possible future activities. We have also met lots of nice couples and have gone to comedy clubs and enjoyed other things with those people that had nothing to do with sex. Thank you for sharing the "other side" of the coin! |
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