Quote From: cfnamierOh please don't feel sad for us. My wife loves me and I love her, I bring her flowers about 3 times a month, take her out to eat often, buy her "Youth Dew" perfume for almost any holiday (I know what fragrance she wears, and her dress size is currently a 10). We work crossword puzzles together and laugh a lot.
When we married we pledged to share our lives with each other. We have shared all the ups and downs of life for 40 years and great sex is part of the sharing. Great sex with each other and good sex with very close friends.
Swinging is not for most couples because they are not deeply in love, we are. I know there is no other woman out there for me, if she wanted to stop swinging today I would say O.K. and it would stop cold, and if I wanted to stop she would say O.K. We do it because it is fun for us. We have great self esteem, self worth and any of the other catch phrases you can think of.
So we are O.K. and we are good people, we just have sexy fun.
First off, let me say that I have not seen this show but from what most of you have written I would tend to think that this couple is not happy in any aspect of their marriage and that adding another sex partner would totally destroy any chances they have of marital bliss! Sounds like the husband is forcing the wife into a situation that she is not comfortable with....I would tell her to stand strong because he isn't thinking about her at all and it's likely he will cheat on her even if she gives in. Their problems aren't about sex and sex won't fix them!
I appreciate what this husband (cfnamier) had to say about marriage and it is obvious to me that he is more in tune with how his wife feels than most husbands are. That seems to be the case with most of the swinging couples I've had the opportunity to meet. These are the most confident and relaxed couples...the ones envied by others. You can see the love when they look at each other! To the person who said flowers are not love...the fact is all wives like little surprise, I was thinking of you gifts. If you did not know he was a swinger you would applaud his thoughtfulness towards his wife!
My relationship is one envied by others. We have been married 20+ years and started swinging 3 years ago. Not often... 4 times in 3 years. We waited until our children had their own lives. We have no jealousy issues, we trust each other completely, and we genuinely enjoy spending time together. We can and do talk about things that most couples avoid because they feel uncomfortable. We feel a closeness that is hard to describe. He treats me like I am golden. I am strong, confident, self assured, intelligent, feminine, sexual, proud, honest, genuine, flirtatious, playful, fun, adventurous, talented, happily married, and loved by the one I love! I am a very happy woman!
I am curious about the couples who think swinging is bad for a good relationship but where the reason is other than religion. Are your reasons based on a review of actual facts, personal knowledge or just a negative emotional response? I believe that a lot of the negativity towards your spouse having sex with someone else is just pure jealousy. Would you feel threatened by another woman? Would her looks, talent, imagination, enthusiasm, etc... steal him away? Would he love you less? If any one of those things could happen they will happen anyway! But, it is more likely that those are your issues, your fears and have nothing to do with your husband or your relationship with him. You should be honest with yourself. Your relationship will suffer from jealousy and poor self image, doubt and suspicion so even if swinging is never an option for you at least you won't fear it as you do now. You might come to see swingers as just another way some couples enjoy their free time now and then. Be happy for us because we are very happy!
