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Replies to 'Overcoming Grief'
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February 7, 2008, 9:44 pm PST
 Quote From: agarcia7071 hello..... first , i would like to say that i am truly sorry for the loss of your dad....i also have lost my dad. my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in jan. 2007 and lost his battle in dec. 2007. i too am in my 30's and have absolutely no clue as to how i should deal with him not being a part of my life. i am hoping that since you have had some time to cope somewhat with losing your dad that you might be able to give me some advice and comfort. i am in pain everyday. i miss my dad so much that theres days that i just dont think i can go on. i have faith in GOD and thought it would be a little less painful since i know where my dad has gone. however, my heart hurts so much that i just cry everyday and miss him more and more each day. up until the last two days before his death, the oncologist told us that there was still a chance he would beat this as long as his platelets would stabalize. his spine had cancer cells that were causing extreme pain every minute that passed. he had to be injected with so much morphine that he had shortness of breath. within 2 days he was no longer able to breath on his own and passed away slowly. i cant understand how we went from him being in my house talking to us to dying in the hospital.if you can please help me with some advice i would gladly listen. thank you. I am so sorry for your loss and the grief you're going through. I'm in my 40's and lost my mother three years ago to a sudden heart attack. I dearly loved my mother, my best friend. I cherished her, and I too didn't know how to live without her in my life. I miss my mother every day and don't know if that will ever stop. But I also know that my mother would not want me to be consumed with sadness. I know she is now a part of God's kingdom, and her joy and happiness know no boundaries. These things I believe with all my heart. So when I'm really missing her I think about how she would want me to feel about where she is right now, and I know she would want me to know and feel her joy and happiness. My mother gave me a lifetime of good memories and those are in my memory bank. So when I feel sad I think back on my good memories, and my mother to this day still brings a smile to my face even when I'm missing her. And I realize how awesomely blessed I am to have had this special woman for my mother who still brings me comfort even though she has passed on.
I didn't think it was my mother's time to pass away. I know her doctors were negligent in diagnosing a heart condition. But I know that this won't bring her back. I have come to accept that God makes no mistakes, and we will all pass when God determines it's our time. So while the doctors were negligent, maybe God put her in their hands because that was his way of bringing her to him. If we all died a "right " way I don't think life would make much sense. I don't know if any of this helps you in any way. But when I began to look at my mother's loss from a different perspective, I began to feel some peace with her loss. I'll always miss my mother very much, but I have the peace of knowing that she's full of joy and happiness in the most perfect place. I hope you too find peace. |
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