Quote From: marcia52SAY WHAT!! Aren't we your motivators? Isn't that why you turn to us over and over again?
I know what you mean about getting tired of healing ... and that it's become automatic to continue.
I know that for myself, it's been one long journey .. which I truthfully started the summer of 2003 -- yep, this makes my 5th year come this summer. And take it from my personal experience, it does get easier.
I continue the time spent learning to handle life and building within me the necessary tools, vocabulary, and habits that will sustain me for the rest of my life. Like Dr. Phil says in Self Matters, I will remember cognitive behavior techniques that he teaches for the rest of my life. I just have to practice them and use them to dump the non-working areas of my life.
I know it feels like you're lost and that you're not recovering ... just remember .. this short time you're spending is short! As you continue to work thru what your values are and living to them, you will find you are so much closer than you were.
My big AHA moment came when I started to see the "goals" coming to closure .. and that I still had them being created .. however, they were bought to closure because I hadn't been able to see past where I was when I created them. Does that make sense?
I then realized that I was now able to see "more" which made me unhappy and yet, when I reviewed where I was in my life journey, I knew that I was so much happier and at peace NOW than I was ever before. That I would just give it 6 more months ... and I wrote out my goal timeline accordingly.
Does this help?
Ah; You guys have been motivating for me in that I have moved forward in many ways and I thank you and also Dr.Phil.
I do realize that I have recovered alot and I need to do more. maybe I just need a break from it all.
Like you I have been working on myself for four years but I am glad that I did because it did put me in a better place now. Maybe I am looking for quicker answers.
Ah; I am much happier and I think that is what scares me. I sometimes think I dont deserve
happines or any good to happen to me.
Imagine having the life that you want and you get it and then there is guilt because you are happy.
I believe that there is one thing that I constantly crave and that is my authentic self. Freedom is the one thing that I crave and most of the time people sabatogue my freedom in many ways.
That is where the creativity comes in. I am letting people squash my freedom and sabatogue it somehow which leads to my creativity which leads to part of my authentic self. So I need to work on that.
I will just pick that one thing and work on it as not to get bored about it.
Aha; That must be it.
am I making sense?
Thanks Marcia
I love you girl