Replies to '06/26 Teens Having Babies'

Dear Dr. Phil:

I was only 16 years old when I found out I was going to have a baby. I could not bring myself to tell my mother and father the news. I spent the first several months in denial as I refused to believe that it had really happened to me. Once it had really settled in, I then tried for weeks to break the news to my mother but as hard as I tried I could not get the words out. It took my mother eventually begging me to tell her what was wrong when I finally broke down and told her the truth. I was already 5 months along at this time. Although in shock, my mother never abandoned me and was there with support and committment to us both after my son was born. I am a firm believer in the saying "All things happen for a reason"....and although at the time I could not begin to understand why God had brought this upon me, it was not for me to understand at the time. I was an average teenager with good grades who did not sleep around, but instead rushed into something I was not ready for and pushed myself to do something I was not ready to do. It was my first time having sex. Although I thought it was the end of the world for me, i would soon come to realize that it was not that at all. I had a good support system and the parents of the father were truly amazing people. Without all of their support and help, I would not be where I am today. It was not easy being a teenage mom, but it also wasn't the end of the world. I am now 39 years old and married my husband one and half years ago. I am a good person with many friends and family and my son is now 23 years old. We have both come a long way through the journey but I would not turn back the clock and change one thing in my life, and that includes having my son at such a young age. He is my biggest blessing and since my situation is such that my husband is older with 3 boys in their early 20's, it was established in the beginning that we would not be having any children together. I could not imagine never having my own child. I believe this is why God brought Cory into my world at the young age that I was. My son is the most special person in my life and he has a good heart and a good soul. He has a good education and is working hard to establish a good life for himself. While having children at a young age is not "ideal" by any means, it is not as horrific as some people make it out to be. We learn to adjust and we learn to grow up and be responsible at a very early age. We miss out on some things, but we gain just as much with other things. It would certainly not have been my choice to start a family at age 16, but at age 39 and happily married to a wonderful man with a wonderful life, I would not trade any part of my past even if I had the chance to do so!!! God has a plan for everyone...my son coming along at age 16 was his plan for me and I wouldn't have it any other way!!! Teenagers who are pregnant need support....they don't need criticism. It's too late for blame......I think Dr. Phil that you want to get the point across, but I don't agree with how you go about it.