Replies to '06/26 Teens Having Babies'
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February 1, 2008, 12:53 pm PST
 Quote From: marinema03 At the age of 16 years and 3 months I got pregnant. Exactly 3 weeks before my 17th birthday, I gave birth to my first son. He was not unplanned. I wanted out of my parents' house so badly that my boyfriend and I planned to have a baby. I have never told my parents this information. I played it off as if it was an accident due to my not taking my birth control pills correctly. Although I love my 3 boys with all of my heart, I would NOT encourage anyone to do this, ever! It is the hardest thing I have ever done, becoming a Mom at 16. My boyfriend and I got married when our son was 4 months old and we are still married to this day, 22 years later. I know we are the exception to the rule. The percentage of couples who stay together from that age has to be in the single digits...but it has not been an easy ride. It has not been a very happy marriage, but we made the choice to have a baby and get married, so I have stayed for the kids. Many people say that is wrong, but I can't help it. These girls MUST think of the unborn baby they are planning to have...it is NOT fair to them at all. Even though I feel I did a pretty decent job as a Mother, most do not. You can't give the baby back...they are your responsibility forever! There are NO breaks or paid vacations, sick days, or time off. This is not an 8 hr a day, 5 day a week job. This is 24/7, 365 days a year, for at least 18 yrs. The expense of raising a kid is astronomical and getting worse every day. My boys are 22, 18 and 13 now...and at 39 yrs old, I am finally feeling ok about having time to myself without the guilt. I really hope these girls will think long and hard about this and choose to wait until they are able to handle the job of having and raising a child. I am a mother to 5 wonderful children. I had my first when I was just 18 years old(unplanned). It has not been an easy road to travel. Now that I am in my 30's, I look back on a lot of things that I have missed out on, and would never want my own kids to have children so young. I love being a mom and do not regret for a single second my choice to have my first child, marry his father and go on to have four more beautiful children. However, I sometimes feel like I missed out on so much and then I feel selfish and guilty for feeling this way. I would NEVER reccomend or encourage a teenager to have a baby so young. I know you have to make the best of it when it happens to you, but it would be so much easier on yourself to wait! . I really hope that these girls think about this and realize that there is SO much time later on in life to have children!. You become a totally different person as you get older. Enjoy being young. Enjoy going to college. Enjoy your freedom. There is so much out there to see and do - especially when you don't need to find a babysitter in order to do these things! |
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February 3, 2008, 10:43 pm PST
Quote From: marinema03 At the age of 16 years and 3 months I got pregnant. Exactly 3 weeks before my 17th birthday, I gave birth to my first son. He was not unplanned. I wanted out of my parents' house so badly that my boyfriend and I planned to have a baby. I have never told my parents this information. I played it off as if it was an accident due to my not taking my birth control pills correctly. Although I love my 3 boys with all of my heart, I would NOT encourage anyone to do this, ever! It is the hardest thing I have ever done, becoming a Mom at 16. My boyfriend and I got married when our son was 4 months old and we are still married to this day, 22 years later. I know we are the exception to the rule. The percentage of couples who stay together from that age has to be in the single digits...but it has not been an easy ride. It has not been a very happy marriage, but we made the choice to have a baby and get married, so I have stayed for the kids. Many people say that is wrong, but I can't help it. These girls MUST think of the unborn baby they are planning to have...it is NOT fair to them at all. Even though I feel I did a pretty decent job as a Mother, most do not. You can't give the baby back...they are your responsibility forever! There are NO breaks or paid vacations, sick days, or time off. This is not an 8 hr a day, 5 day a week job. This is 24/7, 365 days a year, for at least 18 yrs. The expense of raising a kid is astronomical and getting worse every day. My boys are 22, 18 and 13 now...and at 39 yrs old, I am finally feeling ok about having time to myself without the guilt. I really hope these girls will think long and hard about this and choose to wait until they are able to handle the job of having and raising a child.
I gave birth to my first son at the age of 17, and went on to have 2 more boys. During this time, I went to college and got a degree and took on the added responsibility of raising my sister. I also went through a divorce while I was in college. I am 30 years old now, and although I am proud of my accomplisments in spite of my situation, I know what I missed out on by having my son at age 17. Instead of traveling, I was at home raising children, instead of going out with girlfriends or joining clubs, I was working to put food on the table--I made my life harder than it needed to be. Currently I am remarried, with children ages 13, 4, 10 months and a 17 year old sister--I love my family immensely, but some days, I feel like the only identity i have ever had is being a parent.
Oddly, I am looking forward to 9 years in the future when I feel like I can do some things that I didn't do when I was 20.
Nobody needs to condemn teenage parents, but someone needs to educate them as to what it really means and how hard things will be when they didn't have to...there is sooooo much time to have children, what is the rush?
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February 6, 2008, 2:20 pm PST
Quote From: marinema03 At the age of 16 years and 3 months I got pregnant. Exactly 3 weeks before my 17th birthday, I gave birth to my first son. He was not unplanned. I wanted out of my parents' house so badly that my boyfriend and I planned to have a baby. I have never told my parents this information. I played it off as if it was an accident due to my not taking my birth control pills correctly. Although I love my 3 boys with all of my heart, I would NOT encourage anyone to do this, ever! It is the hardest thing I have ever done, becoming a Mom at 16. My boyfriend and I got married when our son was 4 months old and we are still married to this day, 22 years later. I know we are the exception to the rule. The percentage of couples who stay together from that age has to be in the single digits...but it has not been an easy ride. It has not been a very happy marriage, but we made the choice to have a baby and get married, so I have stayed for the kids. Many people say that is wrong, but I can't help it. These girls MUST think of the unborn baby they are planning to have...it is NOT fair to them at all. Even though I feel I did a pretty decent job as a Mother, most do not. You can't give the baby back...they are your responsibility forever! There are NO breaks or paid vacations, sick days, or time off. This is not an 8 hr a day, 5 day a week job. This is 24/7, 365 days a year, for at least 18 yrs. The expense of raising a kid is astronomical and getting worse every day. My boys are 22, 18 and 13 now...and at 39 yrs old, I am finally feeling ok about having time to myself without the guilt. I really hope these girls will think long and hard about this and choose to wait until they are able to handle the job of having and raising a child. I too was a teenage Mom. I got pregnant when I was 15. I graduated from High school with my class and started working right out of High school. I married the father of my daughter. My daughter is now going to be 25 years old this year. We have two other children 20 and 17. We will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary this year!!! You are right, it was not easy by any stretch of the imagination. I know that we provided a stable and healthy home for our kids. the oldest is a spanish teacher and is married. The middle is going to school to become a vet and the youngest is still in High school. We lived with my parents until i graduated from school but we paid rent while living there. My Mom watched my kids when I worked. I now have decided to go back to school and am currently enrolled in college in an RN program and I will graduate this year in Dec......Yes i agree these girls MUST think long and hard about having children because it was not a cake walk. It was very hard. I got married at 16, went to school, I became a wife & mother but still lived at home with my sisters whom i fought with etc.... I did not go to school dances and games etc. because I had a responsibility to my child and my husband. We are now finally getting to do things together alone as our kids are older (and two are moved out) and we are still young 40 and 42 and we spend alot of time with them still but we do get to spend alot of time alone!!! |
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