Quote From: jaimie1974You might feel as though youve lost all of your self respect and dignity, but believe me, it really is still in you!!
Your pain is understandable; youve been tricked by a man that you thought loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. I cant imagine how devastating it was to hear him say that he didnt want that after all, and to have him just up and leave without discussion.
Is there another woman involved?
You said this:
Im desperate for some happiness. You need and deserve that happiness, but trust me when I tell you that this man is not your happiness. This man will not fulfill your need for happiness, in fact, no other person will do that for you. The one and only person who has the power to bring you happiness is YOU. What you are doing right now isnt working for you. I urge you to continue therapy on your own, if you arent already doing that. Having an unbiased professional that you can confide in can be so helpful! This professional can also help to guide you towards what steps to take in order to get some happiness and stability for you. You have to make an important decision; are you going to wait around for him to come back to you, or, are you going to move on with your life, live your life to the fullest? Allow yourself to have some new experiences in life. Get out of your comfort zone. Keeping your heart attached to this man is the result of you desperately trying to remain in your safe, content, comfort zone. Your comfort zone must change at this time in your life.
The best advice for you to follow is this: be your own best friend. Treat yourself with kindness, respect and dignity. Be gentle. Forgive yourself for the things youve done/said that you regret; those things do not define you as a person. I wish you the best!
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. You hit the nail right on the head in that I need to be my own best friend. Only l can make myself happy and I need to learn to love myself again so that I can have the happiness I so desparately deserve.
I plan to return to therapy. I need to come to terms with (1) having my life and future literally hijacked by this man. It would be one thing if we'd discussed as a couple his feelings and decide together what would be best for us. He just up and left and I was forced to accept it; (2) how I'd become so lost. I need to find a way to recapture myself so that I can get my life back in order. I never forgiven myself for all the mistakes I've made in my life. I feel like I am a miserable person who'll never been good enough. I know I need help because I can't go any further in life with this mentality.
Thanks for your best wishes. I'm going to need them!
