Replies to '01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs'

 That's EXACTLY what we're trying to say. We don't ever ask non-swingers to participate. In fact, we never even talk to non-swingers about swinging at all. The only time we talk about swinging is with people who have already made a decision as a couple to swing. If a non-swinger friend of mine came up to me and asked me about it, even saying that her and her husband were considering getting into it, I would have to decline answering her questions. I would direct her to some helpful websites, but that's as much as I would say. Once they researched a little bit, if they decide it's still something they want to get into, then they'd have to find an online organization, sign up, create a profile and get to know other couples. If they still have questions, they can email them to me and I'd be happy to answer. Would I ever consider being with them in a physical situation? NO. If the friendship is there before the swinging, then I'd rather keep the friendship.
Also, swingers will also be the first to tell couples who DO choose to swing that they really shouldn't, and that they need to work on their relationship first. So many people put up online profiles and start getting into the lifestyle as a way to "fix" their marriage. Almost all swingers are looking for like-minded friends first, then maybe a physical relationship later. No one in the lifestyle is just out to get laid by as many people as they can. If we met a couple online that was new to the lifestyle and decided that we liked them enough to meet them in person, we'd arrange a casual lunch or dinner in a public restaurant with NOTHING following. We know what questions to ask when we meet new people, and if they waiver or disagree on ANY point, it's very obvious and we simply tell them that we don't think they're ready for this but that it was nice meeting them. Yes, sometimes they get upset. But more often than not the swinger couple that told the new couple it wasn't for them will get an email at  a later date with a "thank you." We don't want anyone else's marriage to fall apart anymore than we want our own to, so we have to honest and more often than not our honesty is very much appreciated.