Replies to 'Infidelity'

I agree with you in the fact that it stained the image he had of me in being a good girl in his eyes just sitting at home waiting for my turn til he got around to seeing me..  We weren't even living together at the time, just dating, he had like 8 girls on a string and when he told me that he just didn't want to date one girl, I said oh well, guess I will date a couple of guys that were interested in me at the time.  What he is upset with is the fact that I had sex with one of the guys  and 12 years later he says he hears about it at work, and he specifically said in our dating years for me not to date someone from out where he works..  It wasn't like  I set out to date someone from his work,  which like over 1500 hundred people work where he works.  I'm not saying what I did was right, but he wasn't committed to me at the time.  Once we moved in together I never saw any of these guys again.  My counselor that I saw said he has double standard issues that it was okay for him to see more than one, but women aren't supose to do that..  I'm not sure but I feel it is deeper than that, because I don't care to know the details of what he did with each one of these girls and who performed the best and which one do I prefer.  To me that is so sick, why would you want to know those things..I was married before I met him for seven years and was faithful, my husband wanted a younger woman, so anyways I don't know what the real answer is to this, lookig at his family now they were very dysfunctional, they all have some sort of problem, drinking, the dad was verbal abusive to the mom, and they have all had  marriage problems in other realtions..  I am just taking one day at a time and hope for the best.. Sometimes my husband will drink too much, but then he will go for days and not touch the stuff.. I don't understand that either cause I was raised in a home where we didn'tdrink..  But when he does drink he doesn't know when to stop and he drinks until he just passses out...  I wished now that I would have known more about all the family issues he had with his on family before I got involved..  On top of that we have had to deal with the fact that his dad shot his self eleven years ago and that was hard, his dad had bad health after all the years of drinking he had done and later had his leg amputated...  Thanks for the rsponse and I wish you the best in your life....