While watching Dr. Phil today I was amazed.
Let me preface this by saying that your story has offered me some solace, and a sense of justice in some strange way.
I too met a man who seemed to be everything I had ever hoped for and never belived I would find.
He was kind and caring and went out of his way to show his love for me. I allowed him into my life and also gave him the priviledge of being a part of my 11 year old Son's life as well (I had never allowed any other man to meet my child before, heck I hardly even dated in an attempt to keep my Son healthy and happy).
BUT, this guy seemed genuine... the entire package.
VERY shortly after we moved in together things started to just not add up. Some of the stories he had told me about his life and past kind of nagged in the back of my head as being off... I couldn't put my finger on it.
But, like many women I shoved down these nagging voices and put it down to my own past, my insecurites, my lack of trust....
He told me the one thing he had always wanted in life was a child of his own, this was music to my ears as I had longed for another child. Shortly thereafter I was pregnant.
A very short time into my pregnancy and his living with me I found myself miserable. He was not at ALL as he had presented himself to me before we lived together. He was very immature and child-like in his ways... eventually all of the little things, and the nagging voice in my head caused me to ask him to move out.
A very short while after he moved out (we were still in contact due to the pregnancy) with the nagging feeling that he was keeping something from me,I did a small amount of digging on the internet. It took almost no time for me to find background on him.
He had in fact been married twice ( I knew about one wife) he had a large family of siblings ( told me he was an only child and an orphan). None of his life story was true... he had told me big stories of being in the military in his native England and of critical accidents and near death, life altering experiences. NONE of it was true.
I found myself newly pregnant, carrying the child of a man I knew NOTHING about. His entire life story had been a lie. I still to this day am unsure just how much of the story he spun was truth/lies.
The final straw for me was when I found out that I had a rare blood disorder that may affect my baby. It was required of him to have blood tests done because his blood factors combined with mine could influence her health. He couldn't even be truthful about this. He attempted to lie to me about the results of his test ( I am still not sure what he was trying to acheive by this) until I told him that I needed the results in writing, when he suddenly discovered that "there had been a mistake" and he had to go back to get his results again...
I will end this just by saying that I cut him out of my life. I asked him to have no contact with me, or our daughter and thus far he has not called. In fact he doesn't even know that I had a girl or that she was born healthy. I am concerned that having a compulsive lying, mentally ill father would do more harm than anything and feel that she is better off not having that influence in her life (as he did admit to me when I confronted him with all of the lies, that he had no intention of ever being honest with me OR his child about who he really is). I will never speak negatively to her about her father... I will attempt to just tell her that he had some problems and wasn't ready to be a dad.
Seeing your story today just helped me to feel that I am maybe not as stupid or as much of a sucker as I am left feeling from this experience. It has helped to see that I am not alone in having been pulled into such a sick web of lies and betrayal. The scars from this kind of thing run deep.
