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November 19, 2005, 9:03 am PST
Teen Dating
Quote From: gburg8705 I just felt like replying to the main topic on dating with teens.
I'm soon to be 19 in about 4 months. I think that you kind of just need to let teenagers do their own thing, if you set a "certain age limit" on your teen then they'll just feel like being a rebel and go behind your back and date anyway.
I was told by my grandparents (i never lived with my parents until now) that i wasn't allowed to date until i was sixteen. Of course i didnt listen, i dated a few guys, met my "first love" when i was 15 and lost my virginity.
The point of me bringing up virginity and age...all goes to the fact that teenagers will do what they do, and what they want, especially if they really want to date and parents say no, or not unitl you are this old. They will go behind your back and date anyway, which will obviously lead to further things, the most you could do is just trust your child, give them the "alright you can date" but set a lot of rules and they'll definitely follow those as opposed to not being able to date at all, and they'll see it as, well they trust me to date so i'll definitely do what i'm told so i can date. if they make mistakes get heartbroken, be there for them, tell them to talk to you about anything, and even if they do mess up and do something you really dont aprove of, dont scream and holler at them but help them through it, it's one of those things they need to learn on their own, and will probably stop at nothing just to date and of course something is bound to happen....but at least you will be there when it does.
Start off by mentioning group dates , especially if you really dont want your child to date yet or at least just your son/daughter and their "significant other", nothing ever happens on group dates but the group of kids having fun... joking, watching movies, eating at a resturaunt or what not, when there's a group of people it's easier for everybody to not be shy, they become closer friends and nothing can go wrong when there are many people together such as "comfort levels" being tested.
  I'm sorry that you had so little respect for yourself and your grandparents that you couldn't see the need to follow the rules and to understand that they only wanted what was best for you. I didn't date till I was 17 and was a virgin till I was nearly 20...because I respected my parents and their wishes....and my children respect my role as their parent, and my responsibilty to keep them safe and protected until we decide together that they can take on certain responsibiliities for themselves.
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