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October 13, 2005, 9:09 am PDT
Communication works
Quote From: rosy15I really need all the advice I can get, so please help!
I've been in a long distance relationship for about a year and a half. Our cities aren't too far appart so we still see each other fairly often, and we talk on the phone once or twice a day. I love my boyfriend and I'm very happy with him. I can't imagine myself with anyone else. However, our relationship isn't perfect (no relationship is), and we often have arguments. This is where the problem comes in...I like to talk about our issues, because it gives me a better sense of how he feels about the issue and talking about it helps me deal with it. On the other hand, he HATES talking about our issues. Often, for him, there is no issue and he thinks I am just looking to create problems. To him, talking about stuff makes things worse and he feels distressed after we've talked about it. Recently, he asked me "Why must we always fight?". I wasn't sure what to think after he asked me this...does this mean he's unhappy with me? And what does he mean "we always fight", because in my eyes, we talk, we don't fight, even if we end up disagreeing on something, we usually come up with some sort of compromise. I'm really confused. Am I just not supposed to talk about stuff, 'cause it stresses him out? He also thinks I'm not happy with him, because I always have something to discuss. How can I tell him or show him that I am happy with him? He doesn't seem to believe me...
I would really appreciate your insight on this situation. Hi! I sortof know what you're going through. I just ended a relationship about a month ago, partly because my bf didn't understand why I needed to talk sometimes. Communication is a must in all relationships. Its good that you love him, but also he needs to respect you; if he doesn't then he really doesn't love you. I'm happy that you want to talk about issues in your relationship;I think relationships would be more successful if both bf and gf talked to each other and listened. I think guys do not understand fully of why us, women has this urgent need to talk. They may think we're trying to pick a fight, but most of the time we just want to talk some of our issues we're dealing with with our bf's. On a last note I think all guys need to talk through their feelings more with their gf's and also listen more. If everybody does these things I can assure you that the both of you will have a better relationship. <><Karina<><
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