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Replies to '12/28 Wifestyles'
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October 11, 2005, 10:58 am PDT
 Quote From: momakababe I think you need to stop & think about what you're saying here. I think you've got Mommy burn out & I'm sorry I don't mean any of this to sound like I'm being a smart @ss, but Mommy burn out is a real thing. You sound like you've a very low opinion of yourself & many of the titles you put on yourself. All those people are right you do need time for yourself sometimes even if only to gather your thoughts. I don't know about getting "dressed up" but when you allow yourself to not dress it can effect your self esteem. You're not just dressing up for hubby but you do so for YOU. If you feel like you look like a slob you start to feel you are a slob............. You'd said that you "will never be good enough no matter how clean my house is or how well I cook" are you saying you'll never be good enough in the opinion of society or are you saying you'll never be good enough to your own standards?
Again I think you've Mommy burnout & that's why there are so many contradictions in terms in your post "I often feel trapped, alone, unappreciated," Then you go on & turn around & say "I do have a very happy marriage." I'm sure you do have a happy marriage & I know we're hearing the frustrations your feeling being a mom & wife & I know this from experience. We can be home with kids just so long before we really need an adult to talk to & being at home or working outside of it women have an awful lot of things on their plates to balance. It's just too over whelming. Some time to yourself can be something as simple as a relaxing bath once a week. Some time alone *is* an option. You're right in that a marriage is sacrifice on both parts & for a husband to watch kids for an hour or so so we can try to regain our senses usually comes back to a guy in a good way anyway. :)
Please take care of yourself you'll find you'll have so much more patience & you'll feel better about everything. AGain I hope this didn't sound self rightoues because it isn't intended that way. You are absolutely right. I do have mommy burn out. I don't have any family nearby and no friends as we are new to this area. I rarely have any interaction with an adult. My marriage is happy because I know he loves me, would never leave me, and tries to give me what I want. But he still does feel that since he works he shouldn't have to do anything else. He does not critisize me that the house isn't always clean, but I know he thinks it. Sometimes I worry that he thinks he got "cheated." Like I said before the last two kids my house was always clean and I took very good care of myself and was very proud of who I was. I have had some serious self-0esteem issues and they have taken me years working on them...and those issues are far from gone. But I am trying. I think he had this idea of a wife and her roll. When we met, I fit that role. And now since I am "burned out" I don't fit that idea anymore and I worry he will get tired of it and leave. That's what my head tells me. My heart has a very different story. He is a seasonal construction worker and will soon be off work for the winter. Once that happens, I plan to go to work. I feel like I need to not only to help support the family, but to also get out of the house. I think that if I stay at home and never work again, I will be hurting myself alot (on the inside) by doing that. I think I need some adult interaction in order to sustain what I have left of myself and also to get a break from my kids. I love my kids with everything I have, but sometimes it does seem like too much. I think that's why I feel so alone and trapped sometimes...because I get overwhealmed. Thanks for your kind words and advice. I really do appreciate it. And no I didn't think you were being a smarta@@. :) |
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