Replies to '07/24 Behind Closed Doors'

If you Google Mother/daughter incest you will find articles and books on the subject.  However, I suggest you find yourself a therapist to help you work through the many layers of damage that has been done to you.  It's hard work and takes time, but it's best to have a professional help you.  I read many self-help books and thought I was 'fine' till I turned 50 and had a breakdown.  Reckon the saying: "you can run but you cannot hide" is true.

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you and you have been trying to deal with it alone.  I hope you get the help you need.  Best of luck to you.

 

Sunny

 I don't think it should matter if the abuser /survivor is  man/girl,  man/boy,  woman /boy or woman/girl.  A really good book is "Courage to heal" I think its by Laura Davis.  

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in self-image, behavior, moods, and interpersonal relationships.  This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. 

 

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly females.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

 

 

The Psychology of Female Violence:  Crimes Against the Body by Anna Motz MAYBE Whatever Mother Says by Wensley Clarkson MAYBE Switching Time by Richard Baer

 

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

 

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR Stop Walking on Eggshells:  Taking Your Life Back...by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

 

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman

 

High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy OR Divorce Poison:  Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

 

Some of the story is typical:  feelings of insecurity contributing to destructive behaviors such as promiscuity, manipulations, self-abuse, rage attacks, revenge, addictions, and eating disorders.  The extreme behaviors of BPD constitute the high drama in the stories of those who endure its ravages.

 

Hope it helps!

 

 Yes. Here is a great book. It's called "Beginning to heal". There are also marches  called "Take back the night".

Hi,
I was sexually abused by my mother as well.  It wasn't as blatant as yours, and took therapy to see it was sexual and it was abuse.  She would sneak into my room at night to see if my hymen was still intact.  She would tell me great details about her sexual activity with my father, starting as a toddler.  She would make me get naked and ask me what was wrong with my body, and manipulate my breasts, etc.   She would grill me incessantly what happened on dates, watch whenever she could, etc.

I don't know of a book for mother daughter specifically.  I remember for a long time Courage to Heal was my best freind.

God bless you too!!

The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

by Dan B. Allender is an excellent book to help the healing process. It doesn't matter where the molestation came from, it's still painful.