|
July 25, 2008, 11:46 pm PDT
what to do?
Quote From: greener6..alright ,I never do chat rooms ...but the couch isn't cumfy anymore and I'm on such an edge . I have had the abuse elephant in the room with me since I was 6 . The thing that is upsetting me so much . or rather impressing on me so much is that this isn't about the abuse or the abuser so much as it directly deals with the person who let it go on . .... when I confronted my mother she said she did her best at the time and had no other choice . No other option but to leave me unprotected . I f I was upsetit would be upsetting to her so I had to burry my emotions to comfort her . I saw my abuser in our small towm regularly but could not react , not confront , not be upsetting to her . TODAY Dr. Phil said the things I have said in my head for years . OF COARSE SHE HAS AN ATTITUDE ! FINALLY someone was in my corner . I've done rounds and rounds of therapy and been able to get a handle on most things but the relationship with the one who I expected to protect me the most ...who didn't have a clue how much she dropped the ball . Finally I felt like I was heard and someone stood up for me ........sigh I have been stuggling and hiding my feelings for years! I have just turned 41 (about an hour and a half ago) and I think with age along with having to take care of my mother I'm starting to feel like I'm drowning in my feelings of anger and resentment. I have never said anything to my mother about what I've been going through because by the time I looked back and realized the effects that her actions have had on me and my life she was an old lady. She is 85 and living in a "mother-in-law" house attached to mine. I have bit my tongue and kept my mouth shut for years. But the stress of having to take care of her more and the aweful things she says about my husband, my mothering skills, ... make it harder and harder for me to take. I am far more angry with her that I am my abuser (a half brother). I can write him out of my life. I'm afraid I am about to do that with my mother for my own sanity!
|
