Replies to 'Childhood Sexual Abuse Support'

Having seen the commercial for todays show, I had to make sure I was tuned in when it came on.

I am sitting here now in amazement, for this could be me sitting up there.

The only difference is that it was my real military father who molested me fromo the time I was a tottler and my mother to this day still calls herself the victim.

For over twenty years my mother did not write/call/or have any contact with me, then five years ago she went into a diabetic comma, and almost didn't make it.   She wrote me of course to tell me and since has written, called.  She still says  she didn't know, but she did because she too  "saw" him molesting me, not once but many times.  She would even get so angry at me when I was a teenager,  and she would yell at me at tell me, "I am the woman of the house".  You are nothing.

Lately my mother has told me on the phone that she never wanted a stinking girl.  (me) and then she laughs and says  but she made do with me.  Out of all my siblings, who my mother kept in touch with all these years,  I am the one who pays for her phone minutes, her post office box, and send her money regularly.  My brothers and sisters don't even send a card so her mail box has mail in it.  I am the only one who sends mail at least twice a week so her box isn't empty.  She has never said I am sorry.  Her excuse is that she had no money, didn't know how to drive and she had four other children besides me to think about.   Anyway, I can't believe that things like this happen and people live in this denial when their childrens lives are concerned.  

I feel so bad for Heidi.

I still need to work on myself and call myself a work in progress.

It is so hard to forgive, but it is the only way to go on.

Laurel