Replies to '02/19 The Dr. Phil House: Rules of Engagement, Part 2'

 
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February 16, 2008, 2:15 pm PST

Why Stay?

Quote From: pepsigirl5

my husband of 21 years.  verbally abuses me.  he calls me a whore, ugly, stupid and fat. no matter what i wear he hates it.  i am a very thin person.  he i could wear almost anything. but if i do he tells me it looks horrible, or i look like a whore.  he thinks i am cheating on him when i go to work.

he has my selfasteem so low that i do not even want to go out any were.  i lost my job because of him.

he does not work and it is so hard dealing with this, we do not communicate at.

 

i know what i need to do, but it is so hard after 21 years...........but i am trying to get my self together.

 

Carol

I've been through abusive relationships as well--physically and mentally.  The best thing to do is break away before you are emotionally scarred any deeper.

 
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February 19, 2008, 8:31 am PST

02/19 The Dr. Phil House: Rules of Engagement, Part 2

Quote From: pepsigirl5

my husband of 21 years.  verbally abuses me.  he calls me a whore, ugly, stupid and fat. no matter what i wear he hates it.  i am a very thin person.  he i could wear almost anything. but if i do he tells me it looks horrible, or i look like a whore.  he thinks i am cheating on him when i go to work.

he has my selfasteem so low that i do not even want to go out any were.  i lost my job because of him.

he does not work and it is so hard dealing with this, we do not communicate at.

 

i know what i need to do, but it is so hard after 21 years...........but i am trying to get my self together.

 

Carol

Lord, I am SO tired of women staying in abuse relationships when, these days, you have so many wonderful resources!

Please go to my website, WWW.NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM/ , click on "January" and scroll down until you find the article titled "Even A Turtle.....". Maybe you can find some help there.

 

NO woman should live like you are, but you will continue to be abused because you are allowing it.

I cannot believe you've put up with it for 21 years.

 

Way past time for a change!

 
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February 19, 2008, 2:31 pm PST

never the right time

Quote From: pepsigirl5

my husband of 21 years.  verbally abuses me.  he calls me a whore, ugly, stupid and fat. no matter what i wear he hates it.  i am a very thin person.  he i could wear almost anything. but if i do he tells me it looks horrible, or i look like a whore.  he thinks i am cheating on him when i go to work.

he has my selfasteem so low that i do not even want to go out any were.  i lost my job because of him.

he does not work and it is so hard dealing with this, we do not communicate at.

 

i know what i need to do, but it is so hard after 21 years...........but i am trying to get my self together.

 

Carol

put yourself together, grab your shoes and walk into a new life.you can't heal when someone keeps cutting you, don't give it one more year, respect is gone, and if respect is gone so is friendship.

We all know who have been married over 15 years when the friendship is gone there is nothing to get you over the hill and  back in love again. good luck

 
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February 19, 2008, 2:41 pm PST

Carol why do you stay girl?

Quote From: pepsigirl5

my husband of 21 years. verbally abuses me. he calls me a whore, ugly, stupid and fat. no matter what i wear he hates it. i am a very thin person. he i could wear almost anything. but if i do he tells me it looks horrible, or i look like a whore. he thinks i am cheating on him when i go to work.

he has my selfasteem so low that i do not even want to go out any were. i lost my job because of him.

he does not work and it is so hard dealing with this, we do not communicate at.

i know what i need to do, but it is so hard after 21 years...........but i am trying to get my self together.

Carol

       CAROL WHY DON'T YOU GO AND LET HIM GO?

HONEY DON'T STAY IF HE DOES THIS LATER IN THE YEARS HE WILL TRY AND KILL YOU.

I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR PLACE HONEY GET OUT.

 I WAS MARRIED FOR 27 AND AT THE LAST YEAR THAT WE WAS TOGETHER HE TOOK HIS GUN AND I TOLD HIM KILL ME AND I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE.

PLEASE GET OUT AND TAKE YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOU AND NEVER EVER LOOK BACK.

I HAD TO LEAVE THE STATE AND TO THIS DAY HE STILL DOESN'T  NO WHERE I AM AT.

I HAD TO GET OUT OR I WOULD OF BEEN DEAD.

AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOU CANT GET MONEY PER MONTH FROM HIM BECAUSE YOU CAN.

IF YOU NEED HELP MAKE SURE YOUR FAMILY WONT TELL THE HIM OR YOU WILL END UP DEAD.

PLEASE EMAIL ME IF YOU WANT SOME ONE TO TALK TO.

HERE IS MY EMAIL ADDRESS poppyseed454@hotmail.com

CAROL PLEASE EMAIL ME I WILL HELP YOU IF I CAN

PLEASE TAKE CARE

BYE TAKE CARE

 

 

 
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February 19, 2008, 7:25 pm PST

it's never too late

Quote From: pepsigirl5

my husband of 21 years.  verbally abuses me.  he calls me a whore, ugly, stupid and fat. no matter what i wear he hates it.  i am a very thin person.  he i could wear almost anything. but if i do he tells me it looks horrible, or i look like a whore.  he thinks i am cheating on him when i go to work.

he has my selfasteem so low that i do not even want to go out any were.  i lost my job because of him.

he does not work and it is so hard dealing with this, we do not communicate at.

 

i know what i need to do, but it is so hard after 21 years...........but i am trying to get my self together.

 

Carol

Carol, oh, please, do not waste your life on someone who abuses you and doesn't care about you!  It's never too late to leave.  I left, after 20 years, and it was a blessing!  Was it easy?  No!  Was it worh it?  YES!  Best thing I ever did!  It's been 6 1/2 years for me since I left - I am happily remarried to a man who is my partner and best friend.  Flashbacks?  You bet, but you can get through it and have a happy life!  Life s too short not to be happy!  Write me anytime for support and encouragment!  - Susan
 
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February 19, 2008, 11:43 pm PST

pepsiegirl5 here's a couple of links that might help

Quote From: pepsigirl5

my husband of 21 years.  verbally abuses me.  he calls me a whore, ugly, stupid and fat. no matter what i wear he hates it.  i am a very thin person.  he i could wear almost anything. but if i do he tells me it looks horrible, or i look like a whore.  he thinks i am cheating on him when i go to work.

he has my selfasteem so low that i do not even want to go out any were.  i lost my job because of him.

he does not work and it is so hard dealing with this, we do not communicate at.

 

i know what i need to do, but it is so hard after 21 years...........but i am trying to get my self together.

 

Carol

I'm so sorry to hear about all the pain in your life.  You know you've been torn down so long I imagine doing what you know you need to must seem impossible?!  Well here's some places to help get you through & to help start to build yourself back up.  :)

 

http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

 

http://lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/

 

 

go there & seek the help you need to rebuild & empower yourself.  there are many out here pulling for you & many will help show you the way so honey just keep asking for those directions & remember you're none of those things he says you are!  As he says the negative stuff just remember in reality he's telling you the opposite of the truth & in reality he's intimidated by how great you are & so tells you the opposite.  He lies to pull you down!   example he's not working & so gets you fired this way you don't look better than him but you ARE better! 

 


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