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Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'
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February 23, 2008, 5:04 am PST
 Quote From: andeavor We have been together for 6 years and I am ready to settle down and get married and have a family of my own. We have been engaged for 3 years and we have been talking about getting married. He always cahnges the subject when I ask him to help me set a date. Then I just left it alone and He told me one day when I got off work he had been thinking and we should go ahead and get married. But when I got the calender and asked him to help me set that date he changed the subject like always. I have noticed in the past he has talked to other girls on myspace.com about how sexy they are and he would love to meet them. Then once they find out he is engaged they contact me on my myspace profile. And when I call him on it he says he never ment any of it, he was just trying to see what they would say to him....I am so confused and I love this man with all my heart, but why if he says he loves me and wants to marry me would he do that? Then We have had so many people talking about us because we are an interracial couple. He is black and I am white. We have had a hard time with some of his family and some of mine. But now it is better since my grandmother passed away and he was there for me at the funneral and I was there for him at his mom and his older brothers funneral. I just need to know what to do? Can you help me? Please!!! I love him so much and I dont want to throw away 6 years. All he talks about is having kids and I am doing all I can to get pregnate and we have had 3 misscarrages and We are both just 22 years old; with all these big problems. Please help me. I watch your show everyday. I never miss it. What can I do? He made me give up all my guy friends but he gets to keep all his female friends here where we live and on myspace. But If I am cought talking to my guy friends from High School I get yelled at...Please help me!!! "You" are ready to settle down but he obviously is not. There are two huge red flags staring right at you and you are ignoring them. He's on Myspace seeking out other women!!!! Do you really think that just because he puts a ring on your finger that that will stop? Why would he do that? He's not ready to settle down with you, he's selfish and immature, he's a player, he is inconsiderate of you and your feelings and he's gonna do what he wants to do because you are stll there putting up with it! You can't trust him because he is not trustworthy. What I simply don't understand is why you are trying to have children fully knowing that there is something terribly wrong with this relationship? Stop trying to get pregnant. Why in the world would you bring a child into this world knowing that the chances of his/her parents staying together happily is next to nothing? Not only is he immature but you are too (sorry). Having a child will not make him change his ways, it will not make him marry you nor will it stop him from cheating. And yes, seeking out women online is cheating. One day he will find one if he hasn't already take him up on his offer. And where will that leave you, home alone pregnant or with a child while he's running around. Is this how you envision your future? I do.
Another ref flag - he made you give up your guy friends but he can keep his girl friends and make new ones on myspace???? Do you see something wrong with that?????? I do. Stop ignoring the facts and start using your head. his guy is no good or you. Yes you have a 6 year history together of him doing whatever he wants and you following his rules. You know it's wrong or you wouldn't be on this message board asking for help. You can't change him, he is whohe is but you certainly do not have to stay in such a one sided relationship with a guy who obviously doesn't love and respect you as much as you think. You've got all the warning signs of a disasterous marriage and future, stop trying to get pregnant and find yourself a good therapist who can talk some sense into you. |
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