Replies to 'Balancing Marriage and Family'

As I was reading your post, I realized how much I can relate.  My husband, in the military as well, is a real pain in the butt, quite often, and very rude at that too!  I am a stay at home mother of one child (I will not have another one for a LONG LONG time, if at all, with the way things are at our house) and I too have to deal with verbal abuse almost everyday about money, sex (or lack there of), no food ready when he comes home.  I do it ALL and don't get paid and DON'T get appreciated for it.  I am so SERIOUS when I say that I do it all.  My husband comes home to a clean house, a clean mowed yard, organized cabinets, and full refridgerater... ALL of it done.  And if I don't say hello to him when he walks through the door he is pissed.  He complains all the time about his job, about how tired he is... and then he changes into house clothes and sits in front of the TV and proceeds to barely acknowledge me and our son for hours.   And on the weekends, it worse.  If I need help with something and I clearly need some help, he will not offer, I have to ask and then he complains about it.  And the money issue is a huge huge issue.  We have a joint credit card and we use that for everything.  We pay it off every month.  Since we moved to our current duty station we have spent a lot of money, but the money has not run out and we are not in debt.  He knows that everytime we move we have to spend a lot of money on food, items for the house to cover the windows if what he don't have won't work and the such.  It's like starting over again, so I don't know why he is such an ass when he knows.  But, he spends money on beer and booze and online poker as if we are growing money trees in our backyard.  But as soon as I go to the grocery store and spend even $100 on food for a week he is pissed and wants a break down of everything that I bought.  He usually shuts up after I throw the receipt at him.  Anyway, I am just venting and rambling about my problems.  I just wanted to let you know that you have a friend in a similar situation.  I have never used the military help that is available because I am too scared.  Instead, I am getting myself back on my feet and readying myself for the workforce.  I am going back to work.  And not to make my husband happy, but to make me feel like I am worth something.  I am doing it for myself and for my child, not my husband.  In the mean time I keep telling him that we have to be on the same team.  I am trying to be the strong one and trying to not let him bring me down and treat me like the maid, babysitter, cook, etc, etc...  So, I wish you so much luck!  Hang in there.  And whoever wrote to make the efforts that you can, DO IT!  Because she's right, at least you can walk away knowing that you did everything that you could do!   

HUGS!