Replies to 'Love Being Single'
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November 8, 2005, 9:30 am PST
 Quote From: i_c_all Why is it women aren't supposed to love being single? I'm a 33-year old professional, who has recently bought her very own apartment, and I feel great. Sure, I sometimes miss having a companion (and a lover), but I still find it OK to be alone. If only my friends would see it that way!
In less than one year, one friend met and moved in with her boyfriend, another friend met her girlfriend, and yet another met a guy and got married. So I am now the odd (wo)man out. My newly-converted married friend feels obligated to whisk me out of my miserable state, so it seems; she insisted on fixing me up with various guys, but alas: a. I wasn't really up to it at the time, and, more importantly, b. Not one of those theoretically great fix-ups ever came to be (she always somehow decided that, after all, the guy wasn’t really for me). So I admit that I was, and still am, confused. On one hand, it seems that this concerned friend has only the best intentions in mind, but I can't shake off the nagging feeling that she didn't really want for me to meet someone - she only wanted to feel like a good friend.
My younger sister, who got married last year, also tried to fix me up. I appreciate the effort - I really do. But it still feels like all my friends and relatives regard my single status as a disease I must overcome or a terrible predicament I must get out of.
When I tell my friends that I don't really want to meet someone right now, they shrug. My best friend, who has known me since childhood, claims I'm scared. Maybe I am. I admit that my last blind dated have left me hurt and angry. Still, it's not only fear. Deep inside, I feel the desperate need for breathing room. I want to enjoy my new apartment, and continue looking for a new job (which I have been doing ever since I got my current job - it's just not for me).
Anyway, I hope I'll feel the urge to date one of these days. Until then, I will continue to meet my friends, do the things I love, and just embrace life.
I know exactly what you mean. I'm a college student and have only been on maybe 3 dates in my life. I know you're probably thinking what in the world does this college student know. How can she undersand how I feel. But I promise you I know what you're going through.
I have the same thoughts about being single as you do. For one thing, right now I have devoted my focus to completing college and earning my degree. I'm mean sure, it might be nice to have a significant other but it's not my main focus right now. I've been single for my whole life...it doesn't bother me to be alone. The way I look at it, that's just one less person that I have to explain myself too. I can go out and do what I want, when I want, and how I want. Sure, if a guy came along and I felt we had chemistry yeah I'd probably date him but I don't feel the need to pursue a relationship.
My friends like your's don't understand how I can feel this way. Most all of them are either, dating, in a long-term relationship, or married. Most have never been without a significant other for a long time. They're constantly trying to set me up with guys they know but I just don't feel i's necessary. They don't understand how I can be so happy and content being single.
True, there are ups and downs of being single but that's the same for relationships too. I just feel great having the freedom of being single. I'm also the type of person that cannot stand to be smothered. I love and need my own time and space to be by myself.
Anyhow, I hope everything goes well for you. When you least expect it you'll start dating a great guy! Good luck with everything! |
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September 11, 2007, 4:42 am PDT
Quote From: i_c_all Why is it women aren't supposed to love being single? I'm a 33-year old professional, who has recently bought her very own apartment, and I feel great. Sure, I sometimes miss having a companion (and a lover), but I still find it OK to be alone. If only my friends would see it that way!
In less than one year, one friend met and moved in with her boyfriend, another friend met her girlfriend, and yet another met a guy and got married. So I am now the odd (wo)man out. My newly-converted married friend feels obligated to whisk me out of my miserable state, so it seems; she insisted on fixing me up with various guys, but alas: a. I wasn't really up to it at the time, and, more importantly, b. Not one of those theoretically great fix-ups ever came to be (she always somehow decided that, after all, the guy wasn’t really for me). So I admit that I was, and still am, confused. On one hand, it seems that this concerned friend has only the best intentions in mind, but I can't shake off the nagging feeling that she didn't really want for me to meet someone - she only wanted to feel like a good friend.
My younger sister, who got married last year, also tried to fix me up. I appreciate the effort - I really do. But it still feels like all my friends and relatives regard my single status as a disease I must overcome or a terrible predicament I must get out of.
When I tell my friends that I don't really want to meet someone right now, they shrug. My best friend, who has known me since childhood, claims I'm scared. Maybe I am. I admit that my last blind dated have left me hurt and angry. Still, it's not only fear. Deep inside, I feel the desperate need for breathing room. I want to enjoy my new apartment, and continue looking for a new job (which I have been doing ever since I got my current job - it's just not for me).
Anyway, I hope I'll feel the urge to date one of these days. Until then, I will continue to meet my friends, do the things I love, and just embrace life.
I have been single going on 3.5 yrs now, (twice divorced, never wanted to marry in the first place really, it was the man's idea both times)-and not doing it ever again I might add. I have dated here and there but nothing serious. I think some of it is fear of getting hurt, but I really do enjoy being alone and with my friends, ( I am with them alot )and atleast 2 of them are single as well and "say" they have no intention on changing that. The 3rd is stuck in a miserable marraige and stays only because she believes there is nothing better out there. Although she knows she has us to rely on and being sad all the time isn't working for her either. Anyway, just wanted to say thats why I love the sex in the city episodes, it is so me and my friends and in ways celebrates being single. I love my life ( I don't have children but do have pets that I adore), and I love my friends and I don't really want that to change, nor do I necessarily want to give up my time alone or let a man into the picture. The last guy I went out with just couldn't "believe" that I don't really date or care to, like all women must want/need a guy, he learned quickly that wasn't the case but not before he went (without my knowledge) up to a girlfriend of mine and said "she really doesn't date?" To which she replied, "nope, she gets asked out alot but just doesn't care to." I have seen too many friends (male and female and actually the men are worse), jump into one relationship after another, I try to tell them to just give being alone or with friends a chance but they don't listen, or they say they will and don't follow through. Then, gee big surprise what they jump into falls apart! Hey, I have total control of the remote, all of the bed, and whether I leave the dishes in the sink for a day or two or not, and I don't have to put up with the farting, burping or toilet seats up! I am a huge NFL fan so sports was never an issue but man! I don't miss that other stuff! So singles, hold your heads high and enjoy!!! |
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