Replies to '04/01 The Superbug'

I am so very sorry to hear that you lost your husband this way.  I feel really bad for you and your young son. 

I lost my father during what I thought was a routine hospital stay, one week before my 11th birthday.  All I can say is talk to him about his feelings if he will open up, if not try to get him to open up.  Everyone grieves differently but know that was the turning point of my life.  I reached out for comfort, but I was literally pushed away and was told to back off,  because my mother was grieving and needed space and for me to be strong for her.   

 

I felt so invisible when my father died.  No one even noticed how badly I was taking it, and my mother was too wrapped up in her own pain to even talk to me or give me a hug or anything.  I cried myself to sleep for months...3 years went by and the only comfort I could find to deal with my loss was going though some of my fathers things and holding onto his memory.  I remember finding his last pack of cigarettes in a drawer, which included a half smoked one, so whenever I missed him I would take out that pack of smokes, stare at it and get lost in my grief.  Then on the anniversary of his death, one week before my 14th birthday, I took those smokes outside and I proceeded to smoke the half smoked one, just so I could be close to him again and share what was his.  Needless to say, I eventually ended up smoking his pack of stale cigarettes and became addicted.  My mother was in her own world, who would even notice me? 

 

I was devastated and still am...another birthday has just passed to remind me that he left me and I'm still alone.  Can you imagine, 38 years later, I can still remember the pain, so you need to be aware and vigilant with your son.  A sudden loss like this can be very traumatic to a child. 

 

I knew my father suffered with asthma and emphysema and partial paralysis, due to a stroke the year I was born, but I really had no idea how bad it was, after all I was only 10 years old.   

He was disabled and no longer able to work, so I helped him repair things and hold stuff for him while he fixed it.  I actually loved spending time with him after school and I would go with him everywhere to help with errands.  We were so close and  I learned so much from him.  Even though my brother was 14 months older than I am, he never hung out with our dad like I did, so I had a really tight bond with my father.  He didn't seem too saddened by dad's death either, he just seemed to move on with his life, his friends, his projects and being a mama's boy.

 

I'm not sure I ever really dealt with that issue and this is the first time I have shared this story with anyone.  I started crying uncontrollably while writing it....so I think it was a good thing to write to you about your son.

 

I'm so sorry about your loss, sue the hospital and don't ever give up on your son. Good luck to  you.   

 

I can feel your emotion, that is one of the gifts God has given me, to identify with my brothers and sisters on this earth, while I am  here myself.

I have lost many that have been either close friends or family, and the loss can and still is at times, over whelming.

I take comfort in knowing that God can, and does hold my hand, and that , truly is the only good in me.  I believe in getting advice from a good counselor, if needed, and I am, at this time in my life, in order to deal with all of the losses that I repressed my sadness from.

I will pray that you become peaceful, and Jesus will guide you, about the lawsuit.  I am not a legalistic person, but I have had to have a lawyer, several times in my life, and am sure that I will need him again, for various reasons.  Only you know, deep inside, what will help, but I do know that my faith, and the help of my couselor, and also watching Dr Phil has helped me deal with my life, and my pain, as well as my growth.  I have money, to pay my bills, and not too much more, but I have my home, and my children, and I see that you, too are a good Mom, as you are considering your child, as well as your own thoughts.  I will pray for you.  Mary in OH

 

I don't know what state you live in, but here we have a "Tort Reform" that puts a cap on the amount of punitive damages you can get from a lawsuit.  In some cases, it doesn't even cover the medical costs.  That's one thing to consider.

 

The tort reform was created to stop frivolous litigations.  People will sue hospitals, doctors, or nurses (whomever's pockets are deep enough, usually), haphazardly because of greed.  SO, that's why that's in place.  It also helps people practice medicine/nursing without fear of being sued every 5 seconds.  BUT it can be a speed bump in any legitimate suit.

 

 

     I am soo sorry about your loss!! I am an EMT and we hear about this Superbug all the time and we are always taking the steps to make sure everything is clean and disinfected! It is scary for all of us to know this bug is getting worse out there! I have a 14yr old, an 8yr old and a 17mo old and this scares the crud right out of me to think about my oldest one will be out there playing football and other sports having the chance of being in contact with this Superbug. Well I will keep you and your family in our prayers! I guess I am the kind of person that I would sue them because I feel that they should have done more, more tests to see if it was still in his body. I know you have an 11yr old to consider, but you also have to have means to take care of him. If this happened to your husband at their mistake, you didnt ask for that, you have to think of you and your son! I know what has been done has been done, but this is something that will live with you forever and I think hospitals, doctors, nurses, ect should take this sooo much more seriously than they are, because of them not doing so, they are costing people their lives! Well I wish you the best of luck with all of this no matter what you decide to do! I have a company that invests in people who have lawsuits-it helps them to pay their bills,ect while they await their trial-its something to consider-if your interested in helping to get your bills and your living expenses while you fight this let me know, and even if you need an attorney! Oh i guess u would need my email addy too: k2tall77@hotmail.com  . I wish you and your family alot of luck, and give you all prayers too! Take Care!

My dad passed after knee replacement, MRSA discovered the next day after surgery! Six months in a Pennsylvania hospital. Released on a Friday with no medications except Benedryl for the rash and passed on Sunday.  The (6) attorneys would not take the case because it would be a HARD case to prove so the hospitals are getting off easy with no reason to change their procedures.  My last resort was to contact the Pa Dept of Health for the hospital and the Doctors involved.  At least there is a RECORD on file with the health depts and Dr licenses.

I do feel your pain.  I mentioned in my earlier post that all of the lawfirms I had talked to said that going to the hospital was a risk I took in regards to getting the infection.  I thought you go there to get better.  My suit was dropped due to people not wanting to litigate, but if the doctor that touched me without gloves had washed his hands I wouldnt be scarred and my internal organs would still be in tact.  But hey Im not a doctor nor lawyer so whatever.