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Replies to '03/05 Identity Theft, Part 2'

crazydaisy

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March 6, 2008, 12:10 pm PST

03/05 Identity Theft, Part 2

Quote From: quadsquadmom

I know you love your mom, but I think you are being too easy on the reality of what she REALLY did...

You said " Mom had started building my credit up for me by taking out credit cards in my name when I was much younger and she paid on them faithfully. I understand that it was all for good intention, she didn't want me to struggle building my credit up on my own..."

In actuality, it was NOT for good intention; it was for her to serve her own purposes. There is no good intention involved in using one's miror child's identity to go into debt; even if she did pay on it at some point.

"So she calls me up three months after I got married and tells me that the bills are very late and basically dumps it all off onto me. It was over 22,000 worth of debt that she racked up!"

This was TOTALLY a manipulative act on her part. She might as well have said 'here's your debt since I dont like your life choices' Very arrogant for someone who essentially stole $22k!

"...she always said that she would be responsible for all the debt that she put on there and I put on there since it was her only way of helping me in school."

When it came time for you to marry & move forward with your life, she decided the deal was off. Not only did she NOT HELP you with school, she's HINDERED you from grad school via her actions.

"She did end up paying for half of the principle on the cards but didn't help with interest. So my husband and I still had to pay over 12 grand. I love my mother but she has and always will have a control problem."

Deciding to pay back only half of what she stole (EXCLUDING the interest SHE racked up) is again (at a minimum) arrogant & 'control problem' doesnt even begin to cover it.

Please read the book Boundaries, as your personal boundaries were violated by the very person who was charged with helping you shape yours. I'm happy to hear that you & your DH remained strong & committed throught this.

Best wishes!

wow, thanks for the advice :0) I appreciate the honesty from someone on the outside besides my hubby, lol. it took us a long time to get over the anger and resentment of 'the debt thing' as Andy and I call it ibut if there's anything positive that came out of it, it's that it not only taught me a lesson on humility but I can also stand up to my mother now, which was something I had NEVER done before I got married. She knows it's my life now and she doesn't offer advice or interfere anymore unless I ask her for advice, which is the way it should have always been, but I digress,lol. Thanks again for the advice, I'll certainly be looking for that book. Take care :0)

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