Quote From: tselb2I believe the biggest problem with overprotective parents is that the child never learns to make decisions and is thus, unable to live on their own or will forever second guess their decisions.
I am a Mom of three boys. They are 11, 9, and 7. My oldest has freedoms the other two don't simply b/c he has had more life experience and has shown his responsibilities to be honorable. My 9 yo has special needs, but is still allowed to ride his bike around the neighborhood b/c he has been taught (by me and Dad) how to do it honorably and has shown to be responsible. I believe taking these freedoms away would cause them to second guess their independence. Plus, I will not be here for the rest of their lives (I believe at this point) so if I don't empower them, who will? I don't want them learning from the world, so I believe it is my job as their Mom. They have never been in daycare, as well, b/c I didn't want someone else spending more time with them than myself (this is my choice, of course, not meant to offend anyone reading). I believe if we teach our children right from wrong, when they get to that critical moment in life, they will have the knowledge to make a good choice. If they choose otherwise, it is their consequence to suffer, not mine. All three of my boys have been given consequence as a result of poor judgment, so they understand that consequences surely follow poor judgment.
Tselb2
You're teaching your boys caution not fear of the world as well as taking responsibilty for their own actions and poor choices.
I watch the situation with my nephew and am nearly brought to tears with each new development. Charles is 6 months older than my son and the two of them could not be more different. Physical appearance, they could pass for twins but their approach and view of the world are polar opposites. Charles is afraid of his own shadow, Gar (my son) could use a "leash" to keep him from barreling into situations. Charles parents have kept him under their thumb so firmly , often times it seems he's trying to become invisible. We tried to get him to come out (Pennsylvania to Colorado) for 2 weeks during the summer when he was 14 so he could just be a kid. Charles wouldn't get on the plane by himself, I'm looking at Gar who took his first plane ride at 8 yrs old and Gar was telling the pilot how to fly the plane! Charles parents are keeping him safe but they're also keeping him scared of life. I hate it, I really hate what they've done to the poor kid. He will be 18 next month and I pray Charles will go as far away as he can get to go to college.
Yes you do have to evaluate the situations your kids will be exposed to but you also have to keep in mind, from the day of their birth you're begining the process of eventually letting them go. Gar leaves for college next and I'm sure I'll be bawling in the car after I leave him in the dorm but that's what we've been working toward for all these years. ----I'm thinking I need to buy stock in Kleenex Corp..... ;-)
