Replies to 'We Disagree On Punishment'

Quote From: suchamuch

Hello,

I received an e-mail about two subjects.  One, about proper attire for boarding a plance, and two, the fifteen-year-old who is campaigning against cussing.

There are people whom I've stopped seeing because of bad language, cussing, violent words or similar things.  I like them as human beings, but wouldn't want to share my life with someone who uses violent language, for I believe that language reveals who we are, and if someone uses violent words, this means that there is an inner component that has the ability to be violent.

I even disagree with terms such as *having sex*.  We may have a headache, which we didn't ask for, or we may have pizza for dinner, which is a detail of daily life, but to treat sexual intercourse as a casual choice trivializes the sanctity of sharing one's soul with another person and conveys the impression that to give oneself is something to be entered into lightly, which it isn't.

In my family, when I was growing up, my parents didn't curse or use obscene language, yet their words frequently had a colour of violence, which at the time I was unable to analyze, but have since analyzed, as an adult, and considered not suitable for my home.  Words carry weight and it's not merely a question of avoiding saying *horrible* about something which isn't horrible, but extends to the whole language tools that we use.  Many people say that they were *shocked*, when in reality, they were merely displeased or surprised or slightly disappointed.  We cannot say that we are opposed to violence if our own language is exaggerated or disproportionate with the occurrence at hand.

Many adults who try to be their children's *friends*, instead of being their mentors, guides or sources of inspiration, adopt their teen children's language in order to be perceived as *cool*, but that is wrong and they shouldn't turn around and denounce violence on television, while in their own home, the words that they use are exaggerated, equivalent to lying, actually, because exaggeration is a form of falsehood, or violent in any way.

There is more and more talk about *health*.  Health, defined as fitness, or wellness, or the ability to function and do everything that is on our list, should definitely include happiness, respect, a desire to improve and become, on the INSIDE also, a better person. 

The primary function of language is to serve as a way for people to understand one another, not as a way for people to threaten or attack.  If language, the way it is used, divides a family or conveys anger, hostility or violence, then people would be better off remaining silent, until they find something to say that will be good, constructive and true.

As an Educator for the masses, Dr Phil has a responsibility, on his show, to lead by example by using language that denotes no anger, no exaggeration, and no violence.