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October 12, 2005, 1:36 pm PDT
Things have changed at my house.
Quote From: kst920You described my husband and in-laws to a 'T.' He has been waited on hand and foot his entire life, and though we have been married 5 years, and after endless tries to "re-train" him, I'm exhausted. His family told me that if/when we have children, I SHALL stay at home to raise them. Well, my career is part of who I am as an individual, it's part of what makes me, me. Some women are able to stay at home and are happy with that, however that is not my personality. His family firmly believes that a woman's place is in the home - and well, I'm disrupting their Beaver Cleaver image. Our marriage is currently in shambles because I want to be his wife, companion, friend, partner - not his mother. I am a mother of the two sons. 21 and 35 I am afraid what you say is so pitifully true. My parents who are both deceased taught me well. My father could not fry an egg after she died. I had to show him how to make coffee and just about everything. He could grill a steak. I make a joke that I am not sure he could wipe his behind with out her. She was a control freak any way. Unfortunately I did not figure this out until my older son was about 25 and my young son about 16. I love them both very much, but I hate to think how I have ruined them as good husbands. Hopefully they will meet strong women who will set them straight. I do try now.. I used to clean under the bed, until my mother in law said why? My mother was a neat freak. Now my motto is" Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine". I still have a hard time doing and going since my husband retired. That old recording plays that a good wife is there for her husband. Fortunately the recording is getting scratched and I cook when I want , clean when I want and wash when I want. My house is cleaner than all of our friends , I keep it nice not for my family but because I want it clean and nice for me. Don't get me wrong I love them very much, but I love me more. What I have learned is to put me first. That is the secret. It is soooo ok to be selfish when it comes to taking care of yourself. We are not their maids. But life is wonderful.
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