Replies to 'Dating After 40'

I have been in a relationship for the past eight months. I am 37 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for six years. When we first met I wasn't looking to fall in love I just wanted a friendship. We have a daughter together. She is now 4 yrs old. I was dumped by him after 3 yrs of being together. I was devastated I didn't know what to do. I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I wasn't sure what I did, and I went through this if I could understand why he did this to me period in my life. I usually in the past would get into another relationship, but this time I decided to find out what I could do to make me happy. I cried, laughed, sobbed and ever thing else a person with a broken heart would do. I eventually started to come out of my shell and then I started to feel some hope. I thought he was the worst s.o. b. that ever walked the earth. I tried after about 1yr to go out on a date and I realized that I wasn't ready. I still talked about him with my new date. I realized at that point that I wasn't going to date any more.I was okay and each day it got better and better. I went on with my life started back to school and realized this was going to be the time when my education was the most important. This was going to bring my children and I the things that we deserved with out any one Else's help. I started to forget about him more and more everyday. One day out of the blue he came back around after 2 yrs. We started to see each other again. Everything was going smoothly I still felt Angy and didn't trust him, but I thought I could try for my daughter sake. I felt happier than I had in a long time, and then he started back to his old ways. Sarcastic remarks, maybe they are things that most people wouldn't think were that bad, but I feel everyone should respect each other. I have talked to him about this and he says he will change. I do love him, but I notice that there are many things we don't have in common. I am spoiled he cooks, cleans and is excellent with the kids. But I am not sure we are meant to be together. I feel like if the smart remarks don't change and also I crave affection and he is not that way. He doesn't drive I am always the one to drive. I want to feel like the women in the relationship. My fear is that if we don't work the issues out and we stay together I will continue to get older and I see how hard it is for women who are over forty to get married and be happy. Yes he wants to get married. I don't because I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life. I just don't want to waste 5 more years and I will be 42 and he will only be 30. I know no one will be perfect and I wonder if I am being silly? I just need some advice on what to do . I know if you haven't been raised to treat people with kindness, you won't, but I have tried to share my way of thinking with him, but it doesn't work for that long. I do love him but I don't know if my love is enough to fix this. He says age is nothing but a number and I keep saying because he is younger than me. I think I have grown and he hasn't grown enough for me. We don't even like the same music. Our sex life stinks and we can be in the same house and yet are so far apart. I am not sure he won't leave again and I haven't forgotten that he crushed me and the kids before when he left. I am not sure what to do.I know if we broke up again I would be hurt but would it be because of us or because another relationship for me hasn't worked?  I know Demi Moore and Ashton are still together,but we are not them. I sure would love some advice.

I have been in a relationship for the past eight months. I am 37 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for six years. When we first met I wasn't looking to fall in love I just wanted a friendship. We have a daughter together. She is now 4 yrs old. I was dumped by him after 3 yrs of being together. I was devastated I didn't know what to do. I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I wasn't sure what I did, and I went through this if I could understand why he did this to me period in my life. I usually in the past would get into another relationship, but this time I decided to find out what I could do to make me happy. I cried, laughed, sobbed and ever thing else a person with a broken heart would do. I eventually started to come out of my shell and then I started to feel some hope. I thought he was the worst s.o. b. that ever walked the earth. I tried after about 1yr to go out on a date and I realized that I wasn't ready. I still talked about him with my new date. I realized at that point that I wasn't going to date any more.I was okay and each day it got better and better. I went on with my life started back to school and realized this was going to be the time when my education was the most important. This was going to bring my children and I the things that we deserved with out any one Else's help. I started to forget about him more and more everyday. One day out of the blue he came back around after 2 yrs. We started to see each other again. Everything was going smoothly I still felt Angy and didn't trust him, but I thought I could try for my daughter sake. I felt happier than I had in a long time, and then he started back to his old ways. Sarcastic remarks, maybe they are things that most people wouldn't think were that bad, but I feel everyone should respect each other. I have talked to him about this and he says he will change. I do love him, but I notice that there are many things we don't have in common. I am spoiled he cooks, cleans and is excellent with the kids. But I am not sure we are meant to be together. I feel like if the smart remarks don't change and also I crave affection and he is not that way. He doesn't drive I am always the one to drive. I want to feel like the women in the relationship. My fear is that if we don't work the issues out and we stay together I will continue to get older and I see how hard it is for women who are over forty to get married and be happy. Yes he wants to get married. I don't because I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life. I just don't want to waste 5 more years and I will be 42 and he will only be 30. I know no one will be perfect and I wonder if I am being silly? I just need some advice on what to do . I know if you haven't been raised to treat people with kindness, you won't, but I have tried to share my way of thinking with him, but it doesn't work for that long. I do love him but I don't know if my love is enough to fix this. He says age is nothing but a number and I keep saying because he is younger than me. I think I have grown and he hasn't grown enough for me. We don't even like the same music. Our sex life stinks and we can be in the same house and yet are so far apart. I am not sure he won't leave again and I haven't forgotten that he crushed me and the kids before when he left. I am not sure what to do.I know if we broke up again I would be hurt but would it be because of us or because another relationship for me hasn't worked?  I know Demi Moore and Ashton are still together,but we are not them. I sure would love some advice.

I have been in a relationship for the past eight months. I am 37 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for six years. When we first met I wasn't looking to fall in love I just wanted a friendship. We have a daughter together. She is now 4 yrs old. I was dumped by him after 3 yrs of being together. I was devastated I didn't know what to do. I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I wasn't sure what I did, and I went through this if I could understand why he did this to me period in my life. I usually in the past would get into another relationship, but this time I decided to find out what I could do to make me happy. I cried, laughed, sobbed and ever thing else a person with a broken heart would do. I eventually started to come out of my shell and then I started to feel some hope. I thought he was the worst s.o. b. that ever walked the earth. I tried after about 1yr to go out on a date and I realized that I wasn't ready. I still talked about him with my new date. I realized at that point that I wasn't going to date any more.I was okay and each day it got better and better. I went on with my life started back to school and realized this was going to be the time when my education was the most important. This was going to bring my children and I the things that we deserved with out any one Else's help. I started to forget about him more and more everyday. One day out of the blue he came back around after 2 yrs. We started to see each other again. Everything was going smoothly I still felt Angy and didn't trust him, but I thought I could try for my daughter sake. I felt happier than I had in a long time, and then he started back to his old ways. Sarcastic remarks, maybe they are things that most people wouldn't think were that bad, but I feel everyone should respect each other. I have talked to him about this and he says he will change. I do love him, but I notice that there are many things we don't have in common. I am spoiled he cooks, cleans and is excellent with the kids. But I am not sure we are meant to be together. I feel like if the smart remarks don't change and also I crave affection and he is not that way. He doesn't drive I am always the one to drive. I want to feel like the women in the relationship. My fear is that if we don't work the issues out and we stay together I will continue to get older and I see how hard it is for women who are over forty to get married and be happy. Yes he wants to get married. I don't because I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life. I just don't want to waste 5 more years and I will be 42 and he will only be 30. I know no one will be perfect and I wonder if I am being silly? I just need some advice on what to do . I know if you haven't been raised to treat people with kindness, you won't, but I have tried to share my way of thinking with him, but it doesn't work for that long. I do love him but I don't know if my love is enough to fix this. He says age is nothing but a number and I keep saying because he is younger than me. I think I have grown and he hasn't grown enough for me. We don't even like the same music. Our sex life stinks and we can be in the same house and yet are so far apart. I am not sure he won't leave again and I haven't forgotten that he crushed me and the kids before when he left. I am not sure what to do.I know if we broke up again I would be hurt but would it be because of us or because another relationship for me hasn't worked?  I know Demi Moore and Ashton are still together,but we are not them. I sure would love some advice.