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May 22, 2008, 5:42 pm PDT
positive parenting
Quote From: arisherI raise my 5 year old nephew, Anthony, after his mom left him shortly after he was born. She used to come by and visit or call, but for the past year we have heard nothing from her. She didn't even call him on his birthday. The last time she called she said she didn't want to deal with him anymore. HIs father, my brother, is having to work a lot to support the 2 of them and is doing the best he can.
My problem is Anthony is always so angry. He is always hitting and yelling and throwing fits. His teacher is really concerned because he is spending a lot of time in time out for hitting other kids. I've tried everything to get him to stop. Positive reinforcement, talking to him softly, time out, taking away toys, no snacks, even spanking. Nothing is working. He is still always yelling and throwing himself on the floor.
He has a huge loving support group of aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents and he even calls me mom, but I don't know how to handle this. I'm open to any suggestions you may have. Thanks. that little boy needs to get some steam out. You need to talk to him, when children are around the age of 5 they go through a stage like this if they dont have a biological parent around. He needs to know exactly what is going on with his bio mother. But with that you need to explain that to him in a very simplified and positive manner. If his mother is going to call him and tell him stuff like that, that is just going to make the situation worse so you shouldn't let her talk to him unless she is going to be nice. With her saying that she doesn't want to deal with him anymore, thats just going to make him think that this is all his falt and he is going to resent himself for that and he is going to be a very angry child. As you probably know, there are so many stages of loosing someone, the first stage is denial and the last stage is exceptence but in the middle somewhere there is anger and he cant get out of the anger stage. He needs to know that its not his falt and he is a wonderful little boy. Everything he does right you really need to let him know that you are proud of him and every now and then you need to do something with him like painting or drawing or something along them lines, and when you do that you should ask him some questions about how he is feeling about some things and make sure he knows that there is no right or wrong answer to anything that you ask. So you just listen and let him get some things out that way he sould reach the exceptance stage and be happy with what he has. ALLWAYS REMEMBER THAT POSITIVE PARENTING IS THE KEY!
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