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March 22, 2008, 8:51 pm PDT
younger man lerking
Quote From: justmemnwi I'm no expert so take this as only opinion. To me it sounds like there isnt much there for a deep relationship. He takes care of the house and kids and thats wonderful, but he doesnt take care of your needs and wants. Also dont look for him to change. Just a personal observation but women often want a guy to change and it just doesnt happen often. I think a better term is to adapt to each others needs. Why is he with you? Does he have a job? Does he have his own place or did he move in because of you or he needed a place to stay? I'm not trying to be mean or anything here but I think these are questions you need to answer for yourself. Dont put relationships in the win or loss columns. Dont dwell on those relationships that dont work out. If he wants a relationship with his daughter encourage that but you might need someone else for you. Dont push the getting married thing either, find someone to be friends with and see if it grows to something else. Look around and see if there has been anyone else in your life that you have been friends with but maybe it could be something more. Best of luck and I hope something here makes sense to you. Hey sounds to me like you know what to do......that why all the doubts and that is why you won't marry him....It will be hard to let him go yes, but kids are resilliant and they grow up in spite of us.....I would be more concerned that the sarcastic remarks would be something the children will pick up on and think it is okay because he does it......I was in a verbally abusive marriage and it slowly pulls away at your core....at first it doesn't bother you so much and you can change him. But eventually it yanks at the core of your soul and your self esteem which you worked so hard to build up slowly crashes down.....I think none of us should settle....I believe that you should find someone who makes you grow even more to be the person "God" intended you to be and you do the same for that person......Relationships are like gardens with the good soil and earth the grow to be more than you dreamed but if you let the weeds in they start to die....So find someone with good soil...and grow....I hope this helped...based on your questioning yourself you know what you have to do it is just you don't want to hurt him.....but he is young....and you have better things to do than worry about his feelings he didn't care about yours or else he would stop with the remarks that are causing you pain. right....good luck
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