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October 12, 2005, 10:08 am PDT
It sounds like you want more than friendship.
Quote From: lillyangelOne of my guy friends and I have been friends for about a year. We met when his girlfriend, we will say her name is Beth, broke up with him. He and I hit it off very well mearly as friends. I told him from the beginning that i wasn't looking for anything sexual just a friendship. We would hang out and have a great time. My grandfather past away and he was right there to comfort me.. about 3 weeks after that Beth called him up and wanted to work things out. His heart was still with her so he took her back. The problem was she didn't like me, never met me but didn't like me. so she told him he wasn't allowed to talk to me. He went along with it. that worked for about two months when he got in trouble with the law. He went to jail for a DUI and that's when she told him flat out she no longer was in love with him. His heart was once again broke, he called me up and of course being a frined I was there. We spent almost everyday together, he was in the process of getting his daughter back, and in July he recieved full cusidty! the problem there is we can't find his daughter anywhere.... they are sitll looking for her to this day! I supported him the entier way went to his treatment classes with him, helped him any way I could, Then out of no where Beth calls and wants to work things out. She had been taking some classes and figured out that they are ment to be. She hasn't been a great person, while they were split she wrote him a letter telling him that it was her who made everything possible for him, if it weren't for her he wouldn't have anything. She allowed his daughter to stay with them and in the entire letter she was plain mean. HOwever his heart was still wtih her, so he says and he took her back on the condition she would except me as a friend. THat was 2 months ago, he talks to me on occasion now, and if we are hanging out she will text him "am i loosing you" or "i can't breath i need you"... it drives me insane i see what shes doing and i have tried to explain the games she is playing. She has even followed him, one time it was to my house and she freaked out. NOTHING has gone on but yet she still doesn't trust him. Should I just let go of this friendship and move on? He is a great guy shes just physho. I know in my heart i care for him, and she will hurt him yet again the question going through my mind though is should i still be there for him when she breaks his heart again or just wash my hands of all this drama? Could someone please help. I see he doesn't stnad up for himself with her, and well... i just don't know. HELP  I think you need to take stock of your feelings and situation. If you were truly just his friend wouldn't you be happy to support him in his efforts to make a go of it with this Beth? She is, after all, the mother of his child. It sounds to me like either your feelings have changed for him, or that you see that this Beth is just using him over and over and you can't get him to see it for himself. Love is like that. You cannot change his behavior, or Beth's. They will work it out, or not. He will come to his senses or not.
The only person you can help is you. It sounds like you are bending over backward for this guy, and becoming fed up with it. Why are you going to these lengths when he is obviously still hung up on her?
I think that you would be well advised to "wash your hands of all this drama." Without you there as a reason for Beth to exert control, she may lose interest again and leave. I suspect she is playing that old game of "I don't want you, but I don't want anybody else to have you either." Your boyfriend needs to come to this conclusion for himself though, and give himself time to get over her, before embarking on any other relationships.
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