Replies to '08/19 Tired of Being a Mom'

 

I agree with you both.

 

My mother went through a depression after my brothers were born.  One of them was born with numerous problems and  was in the hospital for a couple of weeks after birth, which affected his bonding with my mom.  I often took care of him and tried to deal with his behavioral problems.  When you're not cut out to be a mom (I don't know if my mom ever was), and then you throw in a child with a disability and various physical problems, it really put a strain on the marriage, and because the kid required so much attention, a strain on my relationship with my parents.  It's a big reason why I've put off having children so far, and why I may not have any at all.  I just can't deal with the possibility of bringing a child with so many problems into the world....I'm not up for round 2 of the same. 

 

How does one know if they're not cut out to be a mother?  Is there a way to know without getting pregnant and going through the experience? 

And I agree with you about women who become mothers because it was expected of them and/or  it never occurred to tem not to have children.

 

Sad, esp. for the children.

It's easy to pass judgement when you've never experienced what the mothers on the show has. I have an adult cerebral palsied daughter; In recent years she has developed a lung condition, has had seven tumors removed, is on oxygen, and some days she's an angle, but last week , I must confess, I didn't want to be her mother. The toll is very heavy on the caregiver. Especially when there's only one giver. The fathers on the show appeared to be intelligent sensitive men; They should give their wives a break. My father took me and my three siblings on hikes, train trips, biking, etc to give our mother a break from 6 children. He took half, she kept half. Years ago families were closer, we had "the village"- aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Children need the extended family whether disabled or not. If family can provide a safe haven for our children, ask them to help.