Replies to '08/19 Tired of Being a Mom'

As a mother of a child with severe autism, let me tell you why it's sometimes it's looked upon as so negative, because many times people view it as a problem with parenting.  Think of it this way, my son is 4 years old, I have had many many comments on how I am a bad parent for making him wear diapers, and "if I had 15 min with him he would be potty trained," or "if you would just discipline him, or spank him he would behave better."  How would you feel as a person with AS or ASD if you were punished for what you are?  You are a person, so is my son, and so am I.  Autism is not a fate worse than death, but it is from a parental prespective very hard to handle.  My son, for example, is on his 5th night in a row of not sleeping for more than 2 hours at a time.  While he is not sleeping he rages, where he hits me and his father, screams, and allows no one else in the house to sleep.  This is part of who he is, but it is difficult to have so little sleep and still be able to do simple things like go to work, and make money to help him get better.  I don't want to cure my son, I don't want to send him away, but there are few supports where I live, there is no time to recompose myself.  I know children and people who are autistic have a hard time emphatizing, and I don't know how to put it in terms that you would understand, or have empathy for us as parents.  I have sensory issues and a mild form of Aspergers.  I guess you could say, parenting a child young child with severe autism is like have a continual sensory overload, with no way to stim. 

As a person wih autism you know that the spectrum is wide and there are many, many variations and levels of difficulty.   My son is not as smart as you are,  he is not able to learn the things that are needed to have a job and take care of himself.  He can tell you facts and remembers TV and movie details better than anyone I know, but he cannot read and write.  I worry constantly about what will happen when he can't go to school any more.  He also has behavior issues, like screaming and yelling and destroying things.  I do remind my self that he is healthy and would never wish he had cancer instead of autism.  I do wish life would be easier for him, that he wouldn't always feel like he is different and that he would find a way to control himself so that he could be in a "normal" world.  My son was asked once what he wanted to be for Halloween and he said "a normal boy".....it broke my heart..

When someone hears autism, they think Rainman,  They know only what they see on News casts, or what is seen on Dr. Phil.  children like Alex  who suffer on the low end of the spectrum,

Its very scary  for them to think about  about, 1 out of a 150 children being born today will have Autism, and no cure, that one day, you have a very healthy child growing, smiling, loving, learning, and the next day your child is  slipping away. children on the highier end like you, who are out there learning, loving  and living their lifes are less seen and talked about.  So when someone who does not live with Autism or know someone with Autism they see Alex and they don't see you the other side of Autism,

 

eight years ago we where told our son had autism, I looked all over the web for answers and what my child was going to face, it was bleek, I knew I was going to fight with every thing I had to help him, to take him to the best doctors inroll him in every therapy class needed, but I too wished it was someting I could fight, had a chance at beating, like cancer,  the web was filled with the worse of the worse out comes for children with Autism, I know better today,  My son is doing great, He is a A,B student in mainstream classes, loves to ride his 4-wheeler and dirt bike, does what any typical child  can do, sometime better, so I'm glad I seen out side that box that everyone else only seen, and let him become the person he is today, He busted out of that box, and his future is his to make what he wants of it, and I thank god every day that it wasn't cancer.

 

A child with Autism furture is no different then a typical childs future, we as parents just never know how far they will go.