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Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'
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March 25, 2008, 12:31 pm PDT
 Quote From: ritehere I started to answer an earlier post, but I see that you have already moved on. I totally agree with you, A NEW EARTH is another difficult read, and I'm glad that I read SELF MATTERS first. Do you realize that when you are going through "allow the thoughts, breathe 3 x" when you are with your mother, you are giving yourself the "break" that Dr Phil's 4 truth questions also give you? And it is the same exercise as Mr Tolle recommends, to step back, remember who you are, and not react to the emotions. It is the same message. The reason why SELF MATTERS is a prerequisite is that Dr Phil teaches us how to stop the madness, and see it for what it is, in very personal exercises that pertain to our lives. A NEW EARTH was valuable reading to me because it helped me to understand more fully how I identify with certain roles, and how easy it is to succumb to the old ones when faced with new challenges. I was journaling this morning about how my path has taken me down a totally different road than I could ever imagined. I just knew that I wasn't going anywhere but living in pain and heartache. SM allowed me to practice listening to what I was saying to myself and then work thru it.
Last night, I experienced a level of pain I haven't experienced since my 1st panic attack May 05 and Sept 05. That's when I realized that Dr. Phil never wrote a book on FEAR ... so I found 3 powerful resources that helped me thru that time. I still have them in my library. Last night, I simply wanted to walk away ... this pain I'm experiencing is so multi-layered. I realized that I'm dealing with the thoughts I have when I walk the dogs and see abused dogs & cats on the streets or in someone's back yard. I feel a sense of NOT ENOUGH. This time, however, I'm doing everything I can to do whatever I can. It's giving me practice to step outside of myself. That's one of the lessons this is bringing to me.
It was amazing when I realized that I'd link the emotion "sadness" with a whole set of DO THIS thinking process. I can see how it's part of being human and was very much needed when I was learning to walk, talk, and adapt to my surroundings. However, it stopped being an access. Still need it for situations; however, practicing ACCEPTANCE is helping me to see that there's got to be a point when I stop DO THIS.
I found roles kinda neat. I saw myself at work & play. I'm working on "function" myself. Being a homemaker, gardener are functions. They're just my autopilot life pattern that makes me feel good and provides a firm foundation. Roles ... they're interesting as well.
And I've known for 2 years now that I've not had a plan on dealing with my mom ... now that I understand about background resentment, the breathing just disconnects me from it. I know what the truth is. It's just lack of knowledge / understanding to come up with a plan that could finally explain my behavior. So glad I read that in Chapter 4. |
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