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Replies to 'Differing Sex Drives'
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March 26, 2008, 9:21 am PDT
 Quote From: bay218 I have posted here before and your story rings most true. I always feel as though my husband is giving into me and it is all sorts of planned. I am usually the one who finally gets to the point of demanding it, I guess, and it feels as though he just gives in. It is not spontaneous whatsoever. If I waited which I have time and time again he would never come on to me, so that's when the resentment begins. If I were in charge we would have a wonderful spontaneous sex life. I would keep this relationship young forever. I am 33 and he is 36 so it's not like were too old. He just doesn't have much of a libido. This is in every other aspect the love of my life...but if this doesn't change I don't know what I will do. I would never cheat, if those feelings ever occured then I would leave. I am super excited that he is willing to get his hormone levels checked as well as I am to figure this out. This is all thanks to the recent episode on Dr. Phil. I hope this will change soon for us. My husband and I have been married a little over a year. We would make love twice a day, once we did it five times! Those days are LONG GONE. When the wedding ring went on, his sex drive went off. We've had so many arguments over this subject , I'm begging to believe we've had more arguments than sex!
The last one just so happen to be last night. Believe it or not I finally got through to him that I wasn't attacking him, but sex is a major part of connecting to each other. If he wasn't satisfied with the way we had sex, then we need to communicate and explore each other until we get right. But not having sex and arguing about it is no longer an option. He understood that I missed him and was questioning my selfworth, so much so that I was sinking into a dangerous depression. I don't need a roommate or a best friend to cohabitate with and again, quitting or divorce wasn't an option.
The answer to this issue was the fact that we agreed to reopen the lines of communication with the knowledge that there is going to be a lot of trial and error, and that's okay. The second is having the willingness. Willingness being the key word. So I'm hopeful, we slept in the same bed last night for the first time in almost two weeks. That was a start, to slowly reconnect until we both feel comfortable to take the next step. There has been a lot of women who are having their hormone levels checked thanks to Dr. Phil's episode, there is a lot of power in that, I would definately look into it.
Good Luck! |
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