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Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'
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March 26, 2008, 7:01 am PDT
 Quote From: marsplasti I read your previous post about wanting a home again and all. When I read it I so identified with that whole post. For the past year or so I have been kind of wandering around the planet as I call it myself with no one place to call my own home. I sort of go back and forth with living in one place and then going and staying in another. At f irst I was upset because I didnt know where I wanted to live or how or where or what the best place would make me the happiest. Then I know for sure that I always want the freedom to come and go and do whatever and that is from living with a controlling ex for so many years. Now I want to be free and easy and I can be. So like you my victim mode came out thinking woe is me but the reality is that my life is pretty good because I can just about live anywhere and I can come and go and do what I like and there is no one to stop me. Right now I am visiting with friends and family and having fun. so I am really doing exactly what I am supposed to be for now even though I believe I want the stability of one place it doesnt really allow the freedom that I so crave and have for now. Thanks See, all you have to do is put it out there and you find somebody struggling with the same problems. When I realized exactly what was bothering me and decided to "re-frame" my thoughts around it, my mood lifted immediately. Instead of thinking that I was being held back, held down, kept from, or sidelined, I began looking at the positives of my situation, like you said: the freedom of it. Thank goodness we don't have to sell a house this time! We sold the one in Colorado just before the prices took the big slide downward and got locked into a year's lease here in Ohio. We were not happy with that length of time, but in hind sight, it was serendipitous. The lease is up shortly and we are free to go! Like you, it was the feeling of being settled, the ownership, the belonging, that I wanted, which I can separate from the actual having in my mind. My husband and I have each other, and home is where he is and he feels the same way. It's nice to have a nice home and furnishings, but how much do you actually NEED to live day to day? Not a whole lot as it turns out. Oprah said something about learning to "wear our identities lightly", so I'm fancying myself as a gypsy for the moment. Hubby went out and bought me a new lap-top for our foot-loose days coming up, so I can keep up with things. He's a sweetheart! This should be fun.... |
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