Replies to 'Pregnancy Loss'

Quote From: honeydew87

I had gone into preterm labor at 20 wks when I had gone into the hospital.  It was at that moment when I found out that I have a incompetent cervix.  Docotors from everywhich way were constantly in and out of my room.drawing blood, doing vitals etc.  Then they told me they would do a amniocentesis to see if I had an infection in/ around the baby.  That test came back good.   So then they told me I was gonna have a vaginal cercloge put in so that my bag of water would stay in my cervix.  When I had gotten to the hospital my bag of water was already in my vagina and I was dialated at about 4cm.  A day after my surgery they let me go home on strict bedrest.  The day after I had gotten home my water broke and started irritating my skin where the cercloge was put in.  At that moment I started gushing out blood.  So I went back into the hospital where they were testing me for infections every hour on the hour.  They also did an ultra sound and told me I didnt really have fluid around the baby.   A few days later they had to take the cercloge out, because I was at higher risk of infection.  About a week later, they let me go home on bedrest once again.  Then 4 days after being home I went into labor.  When I got to the hospital this time I was dialated at 6 cm.  About an hour later my beautiful baby girl was here.  But she never took a breath.  The doctors came into my room when she was already half out.  Then when they told me she wasnt taking a breath the doctor threw her at me to hold her and kept forcing me to have an autopsy done.  Which I didnt think was necessary because I pretty much knew what was the cause of this.  My baby was born on February 1, 2008.  Now I am dealing with the emotional trauma of all this.  It is very hard to cope with especially when I try to be around other children.  I am also finding it hard to carry on with my life.  Any advice?