Replies to '03/14 Overprotective Moms'

I can understand that you get upset with your mom about your lack of,freedom.  But coming from the Mom role I totally agree with your mom on you going to the mall unattended.  You are in 6th grade, none of my children have been allowed to just go to the mall at your age.  I agree you should be allowed to attend school activities with other adults present without your mom.  But what you do not realize is we are watching this nations children being taken, raped, molested and murdered.  Just last year in my state a 13 yr old was taken while walking home from her friends house 4 blocks away.  She called her mother to tell her she was on her way home and never made it there.  4 BLOCKS, you would think it would be fine for her to walk that distance.  Unfortunately in the day and age it isn't safe. Another girl 9 was taken from her bedroom at night.   

My oldest children are 18 & 15 boys, my youngest are 9 yr old twin girls.  I have always been very protective and will continue to be.  I would love to give my children the freedom of walking to the store or to a friends house as I did when I was a child, but unfortunately we cannot take that chance.  Because if we do we run the risk of identifying their bodies in a morgue or possibly never knowing what happened to them.    

It is not that your mother doesn't trust you; she doesn't trust the sick perverse world in which we live.  The predators are there and they look like every other person around, you can't tell who they are until the damage has been done.  It's sad but true. 

As my oldest showed responsibility and maturity he was given more freedoms, but he was still required to tell who, where, when and what.  As well as my 15 yr old is now.  We do not do this to make their lives miserable, we do this hoping we insure they still have their lives and are not scarred from abuse or torture.  When I was growing up I thought my parents were nuts just like you, until you have children you cannot possibly understand. 

Give your mom a break and maybe you can make her realize that there are some things you can do without her as long there are other adults around to keep an eye out.  If you will show her that you at least understand why she worries then maybe, with that level of maturity, you could strike a compromise for your schol dances.  BTW sometimes we just like to pop in when you are not expecting us just to see that you  are making good choices, that helps us to see that you are being responsible, and we can loosen the strings a bit.  If you aren't doing anything wrong then don't worry about it, she sees you being a good kid.  If she thinks that you don't want her around then she's thinking you have something to hide.  Let her "catch you being good" a few times, without you going nuts about it and maybe then she'll relax.  I know when my kids don't want me around then they are usually up to something I wouldn't aprove of, so you being defensive about it only makes it worse.     

If you show her maturity and responsibility she will respond by trusting you.  But that has to be earned and most of it is up to you.  But we still must do our best to safeguard you from some dangers and that has nothing to do with trusting you as an individual, it's the rest of society we are worried about.