Quote From: faybianI'm npt quite sure what to do about this, if anything. My husband and I have been married for
2 1/2 years. His x-wife lives in anohter state with their 3 children. Recently the oldest boy broke the law and had to go to court. My husband drove to 4 hours to another state to be there for his son. Subsequently he's been back and this last time he fell asleep on the couch. He told me that he was tired and needed some sleep. He's going back again because of another court date and is planning to stay all night go to court the next day and then return home.
I have voiced my anger with him for making the choice to sleep there " Handle your business then get on down the road" and I have asked him not to sleep there because its not right. I've asked to accompany him on the trip, but he doesn't want to hurt her. He said to me " How would you feel if you were in her place?" It would seem to me that his son could use all the support he could get.
He continues to ignore how I feel and I don't know what to do about it.
I sympathize with how you are feeling. However, a successful marriage is based on trust. Weather you tell you him it's her you don't trust and not him, or not, you are still treating him as if you don't trust him, because he should be committed enough to you to walk away from any passes she may make. And if that's going to happen then it's going to happen. Better for you to learn of his infidelity now rather than later down the track.
I would suggest to show him how much you love him before he goes and let him know that you would be more comfortable if he stayed in a Motel as that is not going to affect his loyalty to his Son.
He is always going to have a connection with this woman for as long as he has children, so try not to beat yourself up about it. Either become involved and go with him, or make sure he knows how much you trust him. From that trust you will keep his love. Badger him about your concerns and you could push him away from you.
Everything happens for a reason and if he is going to fall back into her arms, there would be nothing you could do to stop it anyway, and it will only prove that he is not someone you would want to be with. I would advise you to try not to put your husband in a situation where he is the meat between the sandwich and pull him every which way, purely because of your concerns, which may be all in your imagination. which is not fair to him.
You only bring yourself down by being jealous. Hold your head up high, look after your mind and body both inside and out and treat yourself to something that improves your self esteem and keeps you too busy to worry about this issue. And his X-wife will soon hear about how confident you are in yourself and your relationship with him. And put yourself in his shoes. If you weren't doing anything unfaithful and he came to you with suspiscions about your faithfulnes toward him, would you like that? Be the same wife to him that you want him to be, as a husband, to you. And to be totally trusted is the ultimate in a relationship.
