Replies to '03/14 Dr. Phil Now: Fly Girls'

As a teacher of four year olds, I have the chance to observe many different parenting techniques. These differing parenting styles result in a wide range of behaviors from their children.  At one end there are the "always polite" kids who say please and thank you and wait their turns. At the other end, there are the kids that throw tantrums whenever they don't get their way, hit other kids, and some of the language and gestures they use would make your hair stand on end. (BTW, I am not looking to get into another debate about words here!!) Then there are all sorts of combinations of in between behaviors.

As a teacher I set reasonable standards for behavior in the classroom. Four year olds will question why they are not allowed to do certain things at school that they do at home.  I explain to them that different places have different rules, and that while they are at school they need to follow our classroom rules. It is amazing how kids can separate the different expectations from different areas of their lives.  Parents are amazed to see their kids cleaning up and putting away toys in the classroom and will comment that they never do this at home.  I explain that we teach the kids to do this from the first day of school, and they know it is expected of them.

I agree with you Penny and ramair about parents who just let their kids run around in public places.  They drive me crazy too.  And I know that four year olds are capable of better behavior because I work with them every day. Unless there is an underlying medical or psychological reason  for the behavior, it has everything to do with the expectations and rules set forth  by the parents, and about how they react when their kids do act up.  I can sympathize with a parent who is trying to comfort a cranky toddler on an airplane, but  I have no tolerance for parents who let their three year olds run continuously down the aisles of that same plane.