Quote From: terryh67When those of us who did spank i child we also speak to them and explain why what they did was wrong and what could happen and what consequences would follow if that continued that behavior. also, I don't think a child should be spanked much beyond five. Not all people who spank follow that and what they are probably doing is beating their child and if not there will still be the problem of only knowing they got spanked and not why. I'm glad you raised 3 without every spanking, you derserve much praise. But I found it a little hard to reason with a 2year and 3year old not at 4 reasoning worked better with one of my children but not my boy. My children follow my rules because they know there are consequences. But then again, I always told them there are three major rules:
1. Don't lie
2. Don't steal
3. Don't disrespect people
the rest could always be worked out. There has been too many of "the rest" because most things are covered in the 3 major rules.
Teresa, I saw a couple words that popped me. Thank you!
Self-Control and Process :)
It's very crucial in todays society that we teach our children self-control. We should all realize as parents that one of the most influential ways a child learns is by looking to there parents and observing their behaviors, feelings, actions, and of course words as well. Even in a dangerous situation, if we, as adults, are blessed to be able to physically save our children from danger, Why would we respond to them with angery behavior??? I personally wouldn't. I would use my self-control in the situation to make the outcome a win-win. Your child could still understand you are dissappointed and why as you talk to them. Meanwhile, they'll be learning another lesson by your example called patience and self-control.
Believe me, children learn very,very young how to manipulate their parent's emotions. There are many books you can read to verify this. So if they're brains know how to process ways to manipulate or outsmart there moms, or dads in my case, why couldn't they process words of discipline with a time out or whatever consequence you choose? Know matter where there emotional level is, keep your focus on helping their brains learn to process infomation and focus in all areas. Here's a question to think about for those who may argue that,"Well my kids do this or that because they're to young to process the information." WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO BE BAD??? 1,2,3,4,5???
God Bless and may the Lord bring you peace at heart and continue to keep his angels over your children.
