Quote From: mitymunchThanks for your message. Mostly your last pp. That is sooo Right On !! What you said is what I knew deep down but needed reminding to keep some of my over-protectiveness in check. It is SO hard to let go after 18 yrs. "18 YEARS" That is a very long time.
My only son is a Senior and will be going to college next fall. YIKES !!! Is he ready ??? am I ??? I have one year to do what my friends and I call "putting the icing on the cake". This means that as moms we try to see where we might have missed something. Have we given them the tools that they will need to be safe and prepared for what ever comes their way? Are we being overprotective by trying to make sure our kids are fully prepared? My son is a great kid confident and outgoing. He is very involved at his school and a good student. We thank our lucky stars daily for him. We are very close but he is sooo ready to move into the next phase of his life.
I know that he thinks that I keep pretty close tabs on him. And I do. Your words about, " trusting yourself..." helps me to work harder on backing out of his life in the role of protector. Not easy!!! But what is the new role??? Friend? Observer? Supporter? It is a huge learning process and I would hope that by the time he is off to college that I have come to a good place with this not only for me but for him especially.
First of all GOOD LUCK! to your son college isn't going to be easy but it sure sounds like you have prepared him and he will do wonderfully!...I have a sister and brother that both went off to college and both now have successful relationships (not without trial and error of course) and great careers (my brother works for the Family Independence Agency and my sister works for the procurement department of a bank).
As far as your new role...my mom has always taken on the role of supporter...she says she may be our mother but we are adults and untimately the decision is ours to make and she is just there to back us up whether it is the decision she would have made or not...I also consider her my friend...she has seen me through a baby(she was my support person when I had my frist son 8) and a bad marriage (to my sons father), two 3000 mile moves(my sons father is in the military) and then she quit her job to take on the role of daycare provider when I remarried and had a daughter (3) and now I have another son (9months). She is a saint if you ask me...I don't know how she does it everyday...she says it is because when we were little she had to work and missed all the joys of being a stay at home mom and now she is in a position where she can stay at home and yet send the kids home...I am truely thankful everyday for her and my dad...my hope in life is that when my kids are grown they feel the same about me...
Oh by the way mom mom always kept pretty close tabs on us too...I can tell you there were times when I did stupid things and was punished...but I can also tell you now that I can't blame her one bit and I completely understand why she did it and will do the same with my kids...your son may not appreciate it now but he will some day!
