Replies to '04/11 Women Beware!'

Anyone can go to their local Department of Criminal Investigation (or whatever your state calls theirs) and for a mere $15 get a background check on anyone!

 Women can do background checks online.  I do them for every guy I date for more than two dates.  Check the internet for the county government sites for all the counties near you.  Almost every county will have a way you can search outstanding warrants, civil court records, criminal court records, marriage and divorce records, etc.  Also, go to the central appraisal district sites for those counties and you can do a search by owner name to determine what properties the person owns.  Finally, go to http://bop.gov/iloc2/LocateInmate.jsp to search and see if they've ever been in Federal prison.

You'd be amazed what you'll find.  I let every guy know that I'll be doing a background check on them.  Yet, I've had some still lie to me about being divorced when they haven't even filed for a divorce yet.  I still don't understand why they'd lie when they know I'll catch them in it.  One guy lied to me about where he went to high school (I acted like a potential employer and called the school and colleges he claimed he graduated from to confirm his graduation dates).  If he'll lie to me about something so simple, what else would he lie about?

One caveat here is that, if they aren't using their real name, you won't find much on the person.  As well, if they've lived in other states or counties you don't know about, you won't find that information.  Unfortunately, there isn't one central database of information.  Sometimes, if I really like the guy and decide to invest time in the relationship, I'll even hire a private investigator to see what he can find. 

But, the best advice is to just go with your gut.  If his story seems fishy, you should just listen to your gut and trust it.  Back off and find someone else. 

Good luck in your search.  There truly are good guys out there!

 

14 years ago, I  was involved with a guy in Oregon for 9 mos who told me he wanted a monogamous relationship and wanted to marry and have kids with me. Then I found out the entire time he was having unprotected sex with many women and telling them all the same lies. He was partially paralized as a teenager and used his innocent victim persona to seduce women. finally admitted to me that he was a sex addict and had "unrepentant" sex with hundreds of women and I was a prude.  I connected with several of the other women and they told me all the lies he had told them. I even had one of his outraged female furniture store customers call and say he had come into her house when she was in the shower! What a creep!!!

(I found the trail of women after hitting redial on the phone after he had a secretive conversation with someone, who turned out to be involved with him.)

 

He has since married some fool who probably has no idea what he is really about and doing behind her back.

So,  I began going to the courthouse and checking out every guy I dated, since my trust was shot thanks to this guy. What an eye opener!

 

Four guys I was thinking about dating were checked out: one was still married; another was arrested many times for theft and shoplifting, another for stalking and abuse, and the fourth, his family was trying to have him legally put away in a psychiatric facility.  Every one of these guys was a clean cut 40-50 year old professional who appeared normal on the surface.  I finally found one that checked out clean--we have been happily married for 13 years and he is totally normal and trustworthy.

So ladies, the morale is, don't give up hope, but don't trust anyone until you have fully checked them out.

 

Men are genetically conditioned to pursue women to foster the advance of the species.,    Women are programmed to receive the advances of men.  It's nothing new.  It's being going on since the beginning of mankind.  It is the natural order.  It makes no difference how man achieves his purpose (except rape , which probably doesnt didn''t hold true in prehistoric times)

 

Women know exactly what they agree to do.  Dr. Phil's very good looking bleached blondes were never asked if they were on birth control pills.  Wanna make a bet on that.  Sure they were and the yent to bars searching for sex.  The only condition was - if he turns me on..  In the end to it all, all a woman has to say its No"  No matter how smoothe and sexy the come on is.  It is ultimately up to the woman..  It doesn't make any difference whether he has or has not taken "seduction courses."  The woman always and always has had the ultimate control - "NO."

This information is readily accessible on the web. These days, you can run but you can't hide.