Quote From: lbatkinsonI was married to a Fat Abuser for 17 years. Even when I was small for my size still on our honeymoon he was verbable abusive. He cheated on me our whole married life until I finally got tired of it and told him to leave. He married the last woman he cheated with and now she is overweight, wonder if he abusers her?? Thank God, I found a man who loves me for me and I am very happy but, the verbal abuse I took for 17 years is still in my head and haunts me everyday.
Ibatkinson it takes a long time to heal. this abuser is/was my ex-BIL of course this was years ago and it took a long time for my sister to over come the lasting effects. Though she has been married now for years and happily there is a life that can be great after the abuser. I don't know what his early abuse consisted of but what you describe is #9 here.
http://groups.msn.com/narcissisticpersonalitydisorder/20traitsofmalignantnarcissism1.msnw
9. OUR 'SOUL MATE' is cunning and knows who to select and who to avoid. He will come on strong, sweep us off our feet. He seems to have the same values, interests, goals, philosophies, tastes, habits. He admires our intellect, ambition, honesty and sincerity. He wants to marry us quickly. He fakes integrity, appears helpful, comforting, generous in his 'idealization' of us phase. It never lasts. Eventually Jekyll turns into Hyde. His discarded victims suffer emotional and financial devastation. He will very much enjoy the double-dipping attention he gets by cheating. We end the relationship and salvage what we can, or we are discarded quickly as he attaches to a 'new perfect soul mate'. He is an opportunistic parasite. Our 'Knight in Shining Armor' has become our nightmare. Our healing is lengthy.
Defense Strategy: Seek therapy.
