As a gay man who is going through this right now, I can tell you that it's not as simple as this being a lie that we tell as we get married. Most of us have heard all of our lives that it's not okay to be gay. Those of us growing up in a religious culture also are led to believe that this is simply a temptation that will go away if we just pray hard enough. And so we meet someone who we do love, even if not in the way she needs to be loved. We believe that we should marry our best friend. As young men, when we are touched in certain areas we can respond...whether the touch is from a woman or a man, and so we deceive ourselves into thinking that we must be straight if we can do that, right? We believe that the gay will go away eventually. And then, when it's too late, we realize that no matter how hard we pray, the gay doesn't go away. We find ourselves dealing with depression, and maybe some pretty spotty behaviour issues too. And we realize there is no way out of this that isn't going to hurt a lot of people. Staying will hurt and leaving will hurt. Continuing the lie will hurt and telling the truth will hurt.
I see enough people on here who pass judgement quickly, and who clearly don't have a clue about what we are dealing with. I guess it's easy for a straight person, who has never had their sexuality condemned overtly or covertly since they were children, to stand in judgement.
The good thing here is that things are changing. More and more people realize that being gay is okay, and young people try less and less to fit into a life that isn't theirs to live.
