Replies to '04/10 Marriage Dilemmas'

Shawne --

In a way, I undertand your situation.

I know a woman who married (some 30 years) ago in an attempt to "straighten herself out."

The marriage lasted a decade, but in the meantime she had three kids and only succeeded in making herself, her husbanc and her kids miserable.

I hope that one of the outcomes of societal acceptance of gays is that nobody will get into a life, and bring others into a life, that they don't want.

Best,

Marian

PS -- I have nothing to say about people who talk about praying oneself straight and out of sin. We have them here too, and have learned that even on smaller issues, there is no point arguing with someone who thinks their knowledge comes from their God.

Shawne,

When you first found out about Randall how did you get through those first days/weeks?  My husband of 19 years and friend for more than 30 years has suddenly come to the realization that he is gay.  He says that he never felt comfortable inside himself, and that he felt something was wrong.  He is a very kind, good man and tried to live the lifestyle he thought he should.  I was his second wife, no children from his first marriage, but we have 3 teenagers.  This sudden change on his part has left me devastated.  He feels that his life up to now has been a lie---and now I feel that my life has been a lie, too.  I know that he loves me and I love him and feel badly for him---but I am just crushed.  I want to be able to co-parent as well as you and Randall seem to do----but how do you get to that point?

Thanks.