Message Boards

Replies to '04/10 Marriage Dilemmas'

 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
April 10, 2008, 3:44 pm PDT

04/10 Marriage Dilemmas

Quote From: prettypony99

After watching today's show about the couple who are in a marriage dilemma over the husband being gay, I had to post on this message board. I have been married for over 16 yrs. to a retired militay man and I am convinced that the only reason we got married was so he wouldn't get thrown out of the military and ruin his career.  I don't think my husband is ready to admit he is gay but the signs have been there since I first met him. He comes from a very judgemental upbringing. His father is an alcohalic, his mother is co-dependant. Our lives have always been separate. We had separate living arrangements since we first married. At any given time, he was always on a military mission, volunteering to go anywhere just to be away from home. In 16+ yrs., I don't think we have lived together more that 4 yrs. total. It wasn't so bad in the beginning as I have always been very strong and independant, quite capable of taking care of myself and living by myself. Now it is just getting very lonely and I find myself wondering what a close, physical, and loving relationship would be like. I feel I deserve to have that in my life.
You DO deserve to have a loving relationship...so take one step at a time to reach that goal. You've paid your dues and do not owe this man, who has not been honest with you,  the rest of your life.
 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
April 11, 2008, 3:45 pm PDT

Straight Spouse Network can Help you

Quote From: prettypony99

After watching today's show about the couple who are in a marriage dilemma over the husband being gay, I had to post on this message board. I have been married for over 16 yrs. to a retired militay man and I am convinced that the only reason we got married was so he wouldn't get thrown out of the military and ruin his career.  I don't think my husband is ready to admit he is gay but the signs have been there since I first met him. He comes from a very judgemental upbringing. His father is an alcohalic, his mother is co-dependant. Our lives have always been separate. We had separate living arrangements since we first married. At any given time, he was always on a military mission, volunteering to go anywhere just to be away from home. In 16+ yrs., I don't think we have lived together more that 4 yrs. total. It wasn't so bad in the beginning as I have always been very strong and independant, quite capable of taking care of myself and living by myself. Now it is just getting very lonely and I find myself wondering what a close, physical, and loving relationship would be like. I feel I deserve to have that in my life.
Hello, the only things that saved me in the beginning were other spouses in my situation. There are several on the internet. The Straight Spouse Network is an international group with many different resources to help you. Amity Buxton wrote a book called "The Other Side of the Closet" and Bonnie Kaye has written a few as well, her latest being "How I Made my Husband Gay". I recommend both of them to you.

I wish you luck and will keep you in my thoughts. You deserve a full life and can have that once you're ready.

Hugs, Shawne
 


Return to the Message Board


First Page | Previous Page | 1 | Next Page | Last Page