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October 17, 2005, 5:48 am PDT
I am not sure what to think
Quote From: nalysseAll I can tell you is that it is difficult to know what a teen needs. All they want to do is find their place in the world. Your stepchild is way too young to be asking for skimpy clothes and make-up. Your guidance is important when it comes to this issue. If mom isn't doing it, it is good that your stepchild has you as a role model. I don't know anything about her real mom. All I know is that bio moms love their children with an innate sense of love. Are their bio moms sometimes misguided? Yes. Do they have all the answers? No. Please do not consider yourself the expert when it comes to this child. You did not give birth to her. Like it or not, this is a bond that deserves the highest respect (unless there is major physical and mental abuse on the part of the bio mom) Give your love to this child, but do not overstep your boundaries.
You are not scoring any points by burning your stepchild's clothes. You are not scoring any points by putting your stepdaughter's mom down. Your stepdaughter will rebel if you continue to bash her mom. Basically, it only gets more difficult -- especially when you are in a divorce situation.
My advice: respect your daughter's mom, and understand the difficulty that your stepchild faces as she tries to deal with two moms.
My prayers are with you and your stepchild. All I know is I have to clear up a few things, about some of your comments, I never bash the Bio mom, in fact I am her biggest advocate, defending her and her actions every time you turn around. The clothes burning, there was never a teary goodbye, in fact kiddo just thinks she lost those pesky little shirts, and there is no divorce situation, my husband and I have been married for almost 7 years, and she has no memory of her bio- parents being together as a family, and I have been my step daughter primary care giver since she was 4 years old, and prior to that the bio-mom, more or less gave her to the neighbors. so no I am not overstepping any boundries, by loving that child as my own.
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