Replies to 'Betrayal'

Quote From: jennpianokeys

My boyfriend, Nathan and I were together for three and a half years.  He was also my third serious relationship.  (Just when I thought three times was a charm.)  He started a job as a full time touring drummer two years ago, and went from being the most kind, unselfish person to a pure narcasist.  The first flag was indicated when he downloaded porn on MY computer, not his, mine!!  The second flag was an inappropriate online flirting game with a much older woman with three kids.  This continued with other women since his start in the rock star scene.  A week ago, one of his fans came to Atlanta from Virginia on her way down to Chile, South America.  He was caught in a kiss with her and inappropriate dialogue exchanged between the two.  Bare in mind, I lost my mother since the beginning of this whole downward spiral.  She died a year and a half ago, and I'm still devastated over it.  He wouldn't drive back to Atlanta from Valdosta, GA after a show when my mother was in the final stages of her existence.  That was a time I really needed him by my side.  I'm an only child living with my dad.  He's ALL I have left.  I'm twenty six going very shortly on twenty seven, and I'm scared to lose another person I care very deeply about.  Regretfully, I caught him by hacking through his email.  I shouldn't have to invade my partner's private thoughts to sleep a little less tight at night.  He's done nothing to earn my trust and respect because he won't talk to me about his feelings while he's away.  He sugar coats the truth until he gets caught.  I've been through ENOUGH for two years.  I'm ready to bury everything of his, mine and our past to overcome the fear of being another man's doormat.  My heart is absolutely broken, and I miss my mom.  She had an over eating disorder, and was a child of alchoholics.  I never suspected she would die from skin cancer because she hardly ever went outside.  She was too ashamed of herself to socialize much.  I think that's why Nathan is scared.  He thinks I might turn out the same way.