Replies to 'Cheated On'

Quote From: ut27girl

Why does he want to be married to her! I think he is trying to "save" her. She is so controlling and manipulative. it's a very sick relationship. I also think that she has made him feel so bad about himself that he doesn't think he could find someone better to be with. They have been separated twice and he has started filing for divorce twice. He always takes her back. Now, my husband did not know about the other affairs she had. This all came out at the same time. She lied to him as well as her husband(surprise,surprise). She was actually with other guys during the same time period my husband and her were screwing around. He actually felt betrayed. As for what you said about my husband being weak, I think most men are weak. they were going to school together,had gotten to know eachother. I trusted him 200 %. (it makes me sick that he wasn't sneaking around. I knew he was with her!!!!) I thought they stayed aftr class and "studied". Anyway. I hate thinking about it. I get so sad. My husband was at what was probably the lowest point in his life. He had lost his job and benefits, we were being asked to leave our house because we were having our third child and the landlord did not want three kids in a two bedroom. We were financially struggling and it seemed like eveyone around us was going places. The stress was really taking a toll on our marriage. there were rumors going around about why he lost his job. some were true. Needless to say we were really discouraged.  I knew we would get through it. I didn't realize how much he just stopped caring. about everything. even his family and marriage. He confided in her about our problems and she just took him right in. How sweet of her! She was the one that initiated the whole thing. She saw he was weak. they were "studying" and she dared him to kiss her. Are we in high school? He thought it was harmless and told himself that it wouldn't go any farther or happen again. but of course, it did. Why do men turn to someone else when their having problems? I don't understand that. And why is it usually when we are at or weakest. When he kissed her i had been home just a couple days from the hospital from having our baby. Unbelievable. It makes me sick to, to look back on all those nights they were at school together. And where was I? At home. Where he can always find me. Taking care of our kids and home. So anyways, I'm still working on some issues I have. But seeing the change that has taken place in my husband has really helped. He's realized that he needs to change his behaivor around women and not be so flirty and friendly. just polite. He's realized that it starts with little things that lead to bigger badder things.  He's gotta grow up! We both know what we need to do to make our lives better. and we're doing pretty good. i know a lot of people that post on here believe in counseling. but we are doing well without it and think that sometimes it can just complicate things even more. Well I wasn't really planning on telling that much of my story. but  i feel better for doing so. Any feelings or opinions are welcome.