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October 13, 2005, 6:49 am PDT
Change is possible.
Quote From: jennaluI had an overprotective mother and I think it did play on my confidence too. It was hard for her to let go. Not that I am older, married I have my own life, and I see that my timidness was rediculous and would get me nowhere, I am more confident. Parents must let children experience things in life. If they don't, the child will experience it later anyways, and it will look childish too, but it is a process all kids must go through. They need to let their kids be social, and to make friends, because it is important for us adults to form relationships and to gain trust. My mom didn't trust me, and always grilled me and my brother about everything.
I was shy, never wanted to go to places alone, like the movies or a restaurant. After a time, I realized how this overprotectiveness affected me and I had a revelation that I can change that and be more outgoing and not be afraid. Gaining self confidence can still be done. Sometimes things like learning a new skill, can have great impact on self esteem. Your first solo flight, or belt in the martial arts or do something you have never done before. Surround yourself with positive happy people. Develop your instincts about others. I talk to whoever is in line with me at a grocery store just to pass the time. Sometimes they can be very interesting or funny. Occasionally, I find a schizophrenic or bipolar person, but they are rarely dangerous. Be aware in parking lots. Write notes to your self on the mirror about what a terrific person you are. List you skills and kind heart etc. Find a good therapist. One that will give you a list of books that may help. Be direct and tell your parents what their boundaries are. The cold language is not that of love, but of the need to control. That is not loving behavior. That is cruel. My ex husband used to "give me the silent treatment". I would get on the phone and talk to friends and leave the house and do fun things. Once he saw he couldn't make my miserable, he stopped the behavior. You may never completely change their behavior, just remember you are not responsible for who your parents are. Adopt another old couple who like you and enjoy them, if you like. Good luck. Hope this helps. M.
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